#i aint listening to a man WHO LIKES MEN

[tomasens]

SŁOWACKI DONT KNOW SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cześć kochany kolego przedwczoraj (?) (albo przedprzedwczoraj) zaczęłam czytac wichrowe wzgórza i cały czas miałam nieodzowne poczucie że kiedyś widziałam heathcliffa wyglądającego jak mickiewicz. myślałam że to była jakaś adaptacja filmowa (okazało się że to BYŁ film ale jane eyre i tam jest facet co wygląda jak adam); w każdym razie zaczęłam grzebać i oto jest:

stwierdziłam że się podzielę bo adam by tego chcial a ja sama tego nie zniosę

wygląda trochę jak na tym kwadratowym pomniku ale it’s oki mi to wynagradza te przedostatnie gdzie grób rozkopuje bo przecież upiór wiersz (wale głową w ścianę) (żart)

ilustracje nie były podpisane więc nie mam jak dać credits niestety

POPIERDOLI MNIE COŚ musze narysowac Adama jako te dwie ostatnie ilustracje..... . .... Dziękuję użytkownik tumblra balladyiromanse you always deliver

[constantvariations]

Watching RWBY Chibi for the first time for this essay and I'm in absolute agony. Do people actually find this funny?

[moodymisty]

You know what I think? Since most of the primachs are emotionally constipated along with their legions except Vulkan. I headcanon that gestures ( like hugs or Emperor forbid kissing(on the cheek) that might be acceptable amongst friends. Your primach lover/husband probably won't like or think every male other primachs will try to take u away. If it's a baseline human then depending on the primarch they're getting unalived. Or Peter Turbo will most likely throwing them of a balcony. Sanguinius on the other hand I see him being more lenient... on the surface. The angel will probably be a little pissed off.

Bobby G I see him nipping it in the bud and Konrad will probably just eat them or send em to the next chew toy of the Night lords.

I think depending on the legion they'll be offended for the genefather if a human tried to flirt with their Legion Mother. Plus it aint like they're gonna get another one. Not in this lifetime at least. ex Blood Angel's and Salmanders

The night lords would deal with the homewrecker immediately to prevent Konrad from going off the deep end and repeat the flesh statue incident

Lorgar would probably see it as sacrilegious for quote 'Attempting to separate the bond of him and his love, his soul mate, and goddess. You must perish for that.'

Since most of the legion and primarchs see humans as expendable except the Salmanders. I wonder how it'll go over if reader was a human from Terra whose heart goes out for the common man. Or reader tries to save her friend by pleading for her primarch to forgive the 'transgression'

Ps. I see that afterwards reader won't have many friends at least outside of the space marines. Or any friends she does have will distant themselves to avoid triggering a jealous Primarch

Sorry this is so long. Just wanted to know your thoughts

I agree with this a lot. It's easy to see how they would misinterpret friendly gestures, or allow love to turn into possession. And as for the legion, they are vehemently programmed to protect their primarch and in their mind their primarch's beloved eventually in a way becomes part of them, and is wrapped in that vehement protection, but being a baseline it's ever worse. People just trying to talk to her and show her respect get threatened until she has no one but her primarch and his men.

also yeah... sorry i vomited some writing here real quick.

-------------------

“Please, calm down!”

The Space wolf lieutenant largely ignores your plea, standing tall and intimidating the man who sits at the left end of the table. The other astartes of your retinue are similarly on guard, both in defense of their lieutenant. You are frozen in your seat thanks to a ceramite gauntlet holding you down, the marine attempting to push his body between you and their new target.

“Our Wolf Mother is betrothed to Primarch Russ. And you, some measly baseline, attempt to steal her?”

The man glances to you briefly as you try to argue on his behalf, standing up.

“Lieutenant! He was only being polite, stop this!”

Perhaps the man’s choice in words was a bit tackless, but he had clearly meant not much by it, however the Wolves take even the slightest thing so incredibly seriously.

"You are a beautiful and smart woman," His hand reached forward to gently touch yours over top of the papers you have stacked. "If only I had gotten to you before the Space Wolves did!"

Normally your men listen to you well; If Russ issues orders your husband will quite obviously rank above you, but they still take your opinion into a surprising amount of account. But for some reason during these past few months, as they've begun to call you Wolf Mother, they have shown their teeth and threatened anyone who so much as comes within grabbing distance of you.

"This is ridiculous, quit this!"

You look to the man who has lost all blood in his face, under the glare of a massive Space Wolf with braids decorating his hair. "I am so sorry, there's been a horrible misunderstanding and I-" You choke on your words as the instigating Space Wolf turns to you.

"There has been no misunderstanding, he-" You open your mouth and quickly speak, cutting him off. "No, there has been! The man was using hyperbole, he didn't actually mean what he said!"

The wolf looks down at you, and you see anger in his face slowly simmer down. You silently thank the Emperor and breath a sigh, putting your head in your hands.

This behavior keeps getting worse; You feel like you're stuck in a vice trap. So many people fallen from your life because they fear the snap of a Space Wolf's teeth, or worse, their Primarch's. You know Russ is instigating this behavior, encouraging it, is part of it, keeping you feeling so suffocated. You're so tired, you don't understand why they're acting like this.

Your head in your hands you let out a shaky breath, pressing down on the corners of your eyes so water doesn't leak from them. This is all too much. As you lean back up, the lieutenant sees the redness in your eyes and while stoic, is still noticeably concerned that you're about to cry.

"Wolf Mother… Are you well?" You take a deep breath and clear your throat.

"I'm fine. We should go." When you go to get up again, the gauntlet on your shoulder gives way and lets you rise up. You dip your head at the man who is starting to have color return to his face, now that he no longer is being threatened.

"I am so sorry, on behalf of everything. We'll be taking our leave."

You move to walk away, and your retinue follows close behind; Like a shadow.

[indiasthoughts]

"Can you roll my window up?"

---------

aka- , eren, and xiao, x black readers turn on this trend

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warnings;;

suggestive, but no smut, x black reader, ,, use of the n word , fluff, she/her/hers pronouns, lowkey toxic relationships, SASSY MEN SASSY MEN SASSY MEN SASSY MEN!!!!

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authors note: ik this is such a silly contrast aot and genshin but i been craving all both men sooo😮‍💨

and for reference--

︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

Ps: this is old work but i desperately need smth to post so mind the cornyness pls 🙈

୨⎯ Eren ⎯୧

Inside of the 6'3 mans black BMW M4 was a beautiful girl in his passengers seat, annoyed and frustrated.

see- this girl had a few things that annoyed her that he knew of yet still did when she rode in someones car.

one- rolling her window down and leaving her cold in her black skims dress. two- playing music she's not fond of at the moment, if she's in a brent faiyaz mood why play warren g? and three- not listening to what she had to say.

so when her boyfriend, Eren, of three months did all three at the same time frustration ng came crashing down

"Eren, baby, please roll my window up.", rubbing her arms to create any sort of warmth.

- and to no avail, ignored.

"babe..."

- ignored.

she furrowed her eyebrows and turnt the music down to a volume of 2.

"Can you roll my window up?!"

"No, ur attitude ruining my vibe bro"

As "2SEATER" By tyler the creator started playing, he turned the volume up, but not as high as he had it before, out of the slightest bit of respect.

"Who the fuck is your bro?"

"Ma what I told you about swearing?"

She reached over to his side, unbuckling the seatbelt as her boyfriend stopped at a red light. she pressed the passengers window button and rolled her window up.

"Now the music aint hitting from all angles!!"

"Imma hit you from all angles."

He once again put the windows down.

"Whos car this is?"

"Who sitting here?"

"Ion know what you have an attitude for..."

"Oh my god."

she leaned into her seat, embracing the cold she'd have to deal with for the next 15 minutes.

about another minute passed, and Eren was already tired of the awkward atmosphere.

"Baby im sorry"

"mhm.."

he held a small frown as he pulled up into a empty parking spot .

Tyler spoke in the background- 'the fuck you turn my music down for?'

"mamas it's us" he said with the widest grin he could possibly hold.

'can you roll my window up?'

you lip synced to the girl's parts.

'Why? damn.'

as he would too.

"Cause it's windy." You audibly spoke this time.

"But I love it when your hair blows."

as the beat dropped, he reached in and gave you a kiss.

ewww this was so sickenlybsweet ugh me and who🤢🤢

༶•┈┈┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┈•༶

୨⎯ Xiao ⎯୧

you and your boyfriend, Xiao had been lying down in his bedroom, while you played with his cat on his lap, he did his homework. There was a specific way he liked to have his room, cold. whether it's the ac blasting on days where the cold was too much too have his windows open, or open windows, on the warmer days. Today happened to be one of the warmer days. And despite the baggy sweatpants, fuzzy socks, and one of his sweaters, his room was still too cold for you. As much as you cuddles up with Astro, the cat, and your boyfriend, it was still unbearable.

"Xiao, lets close the windows please.."

"I won't be able to concentrate."

he furrowed his eyebrows and said that with in the sturnest way he could.

"I'm gonna head into the living room then"

You grabbed the cat, and as quick as one leg came down, it came back up.

He played a faveorite playlist of his, when "2SEATER" came first.

"Sit back down pretty?" more of a question than a command.

"Damnn nigga it's cold!"

"m'sorry, stay wimme ok?"

He turned the volume up and held your waist, bringing his lips to your neck and nibbling your neck.

You knit your brows together, feeling a gush of cold air, and flinched softly. Taking his phone that was connected to his JBL speaker, and lowering it.

"Can you roll the windows up?"

"Whyd you turn the music down"

he puts it back on, lowly chuckling at the perfect timing on the song.

"Can you roll it up?"

"Why?, damn"

"Because it's!-"

You slowly realise the timing on the song and this mini arguement.

"But i love it when your hair blows.."

As he finally removed his lips from your neck, and tilting your neck to crane your head and meet his lips.

[frank1nsaint]

Franklin Part 3

Warnings: Use of curse words and N-word

“Why you been dodging me?” Franklin asks you as soon as you open the door to your house 

You step out “I have no idea what you’re talking about” 

“Oh so those pages and calls to your phone?” he points towards the inside of your house “They didn't happen?” 

You shrug “I don't know maybe you dialed the wrong number” you had no plan to explain to him why you hoped he would just take the hint and let you be, it had been 3 weeks since your first date

He throws his hands up “Come on Y/N what happened? We were just good not too long ago I was gonna take you on another date’n shit” 

“I don’t think we would be good for each other Franklin” 

“Why you say that? we just talked about you not sabotaging” he points between both of you “this” 

“Im not” 

He leans in “You are” he argues 

“Franklin we aren’t good for each other just accept that” you state matter of factly before you turn to go in

He grabs your arm gently “Nah you owe me an explanation” 

“I don’t!” you answer defiantly snatching your arm away

“Yes the fuck you do. I’m puttin’ my best foot forward and you fuckin’ it up on purpose cuz of what? you fucking scared of the shit I do? Aint nobody gon touch you Y/N they dont touch Wanda  and her dope head ass what make you think they gon fuck withchu?”

You sigh “Franklin” 

“Nah fuck that Y/N” 

“You really wanna know?”

He nods “Yes I do, enlighten me” 

You pause “I can’t trust you Franklin”  

His face holds a confused look “What are you even...?” 

“After our date, some of your henchmen came up to me. Guess what they said to me?”

Franklin held his breath he feels his heart beat start to increase. You start to mock the mannerisms and voice of the men “shit I heard you and my boy Saint had a date last night��� He shrugs “So i told them we went on a date big deal”  praying that's where the story ends 

You continue “Men I lost my $200 and my boy came up on a smooth couple grand” you pause and look at him “ha-ha my man Saint he a G tho” you return to a normal voice “then he proceeds to tell me that there was a bet between you and your fucking crew, you got two grand if i actually went on a date with you?” you scoff “if you were that hard up for money Saint all you had to do was ask I could have given you that and we wouldn’t be having this conversation” 

“Y/N let me explain” this was not as it seemed 

“Not even 24 hours passed after our date and I’m hearing you went rounding up your niggas so they could pay you!" you paused "And OH! if I fucked you it would have been an additional $3000”  you say sarcastically

“Y/N” he calls

You start mocking another guy “My girl Y/N, my sunshiiinneee yo yo yo shit if i had known all i had to do was ask you all proper and shit you would be my girl now. May I take you to dinner Y/N, miss congeniality” you tilt your head “they said you looked pretty in that green dress last night wish it was me instead of that nigga!” 

“Who approached you?” he asked with a deep scowl on his face.  

“I’ll give you that Saint. You played me good. You played a good game” you begin to walk away 

“Hold up, hold up, hold up,  who came up to you?” He asked again You return his mug “I’m not telling you Franklin! It doesn’t matter anyway you up 1 grand right?” 

“Y/N listen I will explain later but who told you that? They are a liability to my shit!” 

You shrug “what that got to do with me?” 

“Tell me their fuckin’ names Y/N!” he demands

You sigh “you betted on me” 

“Y/N” 

In a soft tone you say “$2000 for the date, additional $3000 if we fucked, had people follow us, Big Saint, The Man, The Myth, The Legend show you lil niggas how its done” you pause “right?...... Saint?” 

He looks up and runs his hand down his face feeling like his heart was going to explode word for word you quote what he had that night (“show you lil niggas how its done”) “Y/N please just tell me who told you that and I will explain everything” he begs 

“If you wanted the money all you had to do was ask Franklin” 

“Y/N, I don’t care about the money” “But you still made sure to collect, right?” you pause “Then you got the nerve to get annoyed at the fact that I was sabotaging the date!”  you scoff in disbelief and begin to walk into your house 

Franklin grabs your arm “Y/N listen!”

“Don’t Franklin!”  you warn removing yourself from his grip 

He blocks the door with his body “Y/N This aint a fucking game who approached you?! I need to know!” 

You shook your head, you look him in the eye “I’m not gonna tell you Saint” 

He tilted his head and pauses with an offended tone he says “Don’t call me that, I'm not Saint to you it’s either Franklin or any other fucking thing else but I’m not Saint to you!” 

You go to say something else but decide not “Fucking Asshole!” you mutter looking down at your sweater pulling small knots that had formed

He released a deep sigh “Fine I’ll take that but you need to tell me who approached you.” he moves his head trying to get you to look up at him. You remain silent. “Tell me Y/N” 

You shake your head “I’m not gonna tell you Franklin”

“WHY?!” he pauses to gather himself “You know how serious this shit is?” “SO YOU CAN GO KILL THEM?!” “OH MY GOD AINT NOBODY THINKIN’ ABOUT KILLING THEM NIGGAS!” he looks around  and moves closer to you  “keep your fucking voice down!” he whispers harshly You scoff “It’s all good Saint” Almost immediately he sizes you up and with gritted teeth he says “What the fuck did I just say?”  

You feel shiver run down, it shocked you so much that you instinctively jump move away slightly, but you hold your ground still glaring at him before you step away and snicker and nod a few of times with tears in your eyes 

With instant regrets he breaks his stance and takes a step back to show that his anger isn't’ aimed at you. “Just tell me” he says in a significantly softer tone 

“I’m not gonna tell you Franklin, I don’t want their deaths on me because you decided to be an asshole all over $5000?” 

He steps towards “Y/N please”

You step away with your hand up “It’s all good Franklin, I hope you put that $1000 to good use” a tear drops from your eyes “Y/N” “No hard feelings really Franklin, but you know this can’t work ever, doesn’t matter your explanation.” another tear from your right eye begins to roll down “wish you the best in your business stay safe out there” 

“Y/N! No no no no please please please!” he begs gently grabbing your hand trying to stop you but also making sure to not scare you away 

You pull your hand away “Goodnight Franklin” you speak before closing the door. 

He looks at the door for a moment before turning and walking away towards his car. He turns on the car and begins to drive away “FFFUUUCCCKKKK!” he screams feeling the rage course through him as he speeds on the freeway

Franklin walks in and slams the door causing Jerome to jump up from his seat gun drawn “MOTHAFUCKA I ALMOST SHOT YOU WHAT THE HELL WRONG WITCHU?!” 

They hear footsteps before Louie is stand ny the door “JEROME? WHO THE FUCK IS THAT? FRANKLIN!?” she comments frantically looking around for the threat “Not now” he grits out

“NIGGA WHO YOU THINK YOU TALKIN’ TO?!  WALKIN’ UP IN MY HOUSE SLAMMIN’ MY SHIT. I'll FUCK YOU UP!” Jerome bellows 

The phone rings and Franklin picks up “Hello?! meet me at Jerome house, now nigga, YES NOW! Bring Sean witchu!”

“WHAT THE HELL GOING ON FRANKLIN WHAT HAPPENED?” Louie asks “THEM LITTLE MOTHAFUCKAS DONE WENT AND TOLD Y/N ABOUT THE BET!” “WHAT? WHAT BET?” Louie asks

Jerome looks at Franklin like he has three heads “NIGGA WHAT??? YOU MAD OVER THAT STUPID ASS BET?” Franklin took major offence to Jeromes accusations, tilting his head to the side “You laughing but if I can't trust them to not tell a bitch about a stupid ass bet I can’t trust them in my shit!! They gone blow up our spot and fuck up our shit.” he points to his head  “You not thinking Unc” Jerome paused and realised the gravity of the situation 

“What is this bet? And what it got to do with that lil girl?” Louie asked as she looked between the two 

Jerome gently waved her away “I’ll explain it to you later baby just let us be” 

Louie scoffed “Shit mothafucka walkin’ in here slamming doors”

“Louie” Franklin commented 

“Nigga fuck you!”  

Franklin squared up Louie “AYE! AYE! AYE! WE DON'T NEED ALL THAT NOW!” 

Franklin huffed and turned to continue his pace 

In 10 minutes Leon and Sean arrived

“Nigga what happened” Leon asked gun already out 

“We got some rat ass mothafuckas in our crew look how they got Franklin!”  Jerome pokes fun at him “Nigga pacing around and shit over a bitch!” he jokes 

“UNC!”  Franklin warns

“What... happened?” Sean asked confused 

“Y/N told me that niggas from our crew approached her telling her about the bet”

“Soooo...” Leon looked at Franklin confused 

“So?” Franklin returned the expression “You niggas not thinking?” he paused “I GOTTA DO ALL THE THINKIN’ AROUND HERE??!!” 

“We don’t” Sean speaks trying to rationalise their confusion 

“If they running to tell her about a bet, a bet made between everyone in that room, what makes you think they not blowing up our spot?”

The men looked between each other the reality finally setting in for everyone that they could be completely exposed for anything at any moment. 

“Our competitors, our opps, our product,  our recipe, our schedule, our plug, our money, our peoples” Franklin states 

“We got it Nephew” Jerome comments wanting him to not continue hating the feeling of being vulnerable 

Franklin chuckled and looked around at them and in a whisper he sneers “and you niggas think I’m mad over a bitch when I got some snake ass mothafuckas in my crew??!! I GOT BIGGER PROBLEMS NIGGA!!” “My bad” Sean says throwing his hands up 

“FFFUUUCK! Round all them niggas up now” 

Leon puts his hand up “Now hold on its 2am we ain't bout to be meeting without cops spotting us”

“SHIT!”

“Look lets come up with a solution to figure out who them niggas are we start rounding people up they might start snitching even more” Leon strategizes 

Franklin nodded in agreeance “We gonna act like shit aint happen and take them niggas out one by one!” 

Jerome nods “Yea I like that plan!” 

Franklin sighs and sits down releasing the tension in his body

“We got a plan nephew unless you got something better?”

“No I don't.” 

Its silent for awhile with the 3 men (Jerome, Sean, Leon) talking to each other catching up on what they heard or whats going with their product

“Nigga what wrong withchu we have a solution” 

Franklin waves him off “Not now Unc,I’m trying to figure out how to fix this shit with Y/N” 

“Oh shit,” Leon comments forgetting that you were involved 

“Yea nigga, Y/N! they told Y/N!” 

“HA-HA you losing your mind over this girl boy! Now you know niggas talk worse than bitches sometimes. Gossipping mothafuckas”

“NOT NOW UNC” Leon shrugs “just go get another bitch, she aint the only fine girl that we know”

Franklin shot him an incredulous look “I don't want another bitch Leon I want that one!” 

“She not special her stuck up ass I bet if you called Tasha now she’ll literally hop the fuck out her bed and come fuck you” Leon wasn’t really a big fan of you, he thought that you acted too good

“I dont want Tasha, I want Y/N and that thing was a fucking mistake i told you that” “Hell no don’t call that crazy girl up here! Her bat shit ass bout got herself killed trying to sneak in my damn house talking about she just wanna see Frankie”  Louie comments 

Jerome chortles “BOY YOU HAD THAT GIRL GOING CRAZY BOUT LOST HER FUCKIN’ MIND. DICK HAD HER STUCK NEPHEW!!” he blares out a laugh 

Leon, Sean, and Louie join in on the laugh

Franklin ran his hands down his face “We gotta find them or this shit is not gonna last. If they can go run and tell Y/N what else are they doing? Product been going missing lets start there whoever them mothafuckas are they fuckin’ dead!” he grumbled. 

Authors Note: Feedback is much appreciated. Please reblog, comment, and like just don't plagiarize

[distant--shadow]

The witch and the widow chapters 1-4 author’s notes

Ok, so first off I feel I gotta preface this by saying I am absolutely not a history buff. Kinda the opposite of one really. I was one of less than 10% of the kids in my year of 300 or so that didn’t take history at GCSEs, mostly caus a subject taught and based around names and dates etc is the definition of something not suited for my type of brain, also I hugely lost interest in it caus we moved past the fun trebuchet eras and all that real fast and it became of slog of me falling asleep in lessons caus I had a teacher whose method was putting on movies and shutting the blinds (I’d always fall asleep and he was later jailed for being a p*edophile, so that’s a thing.) Anyway, all that to say I’m not good at this shit, but as ive gotten older I have taken a bigger interest in queer history in particular, and that often if not always links into other areas such as fashion, women’s rights, religion,the arts, class, and race etc. (I’m still not good at names and dates though!)

They are outfitted and arsenalled - the stones of the wall - in a manner to rival any army; tapestries of red and gold perhaps once brandished on battlefield as banners promenading around death now retired and indoor-still-air-still as taxidermy giving colour between all of the shades of metal, burnished and polished and in some cases rusting, some still purposefully left blood-stained, swords and pikes and maces arranged in wallpaper patterns as though flowers or fans, sword-sheath beams spreading from chest-plate armour suns.

Let’s start with something easy and recent. The Baron’s armoury was inspired by a few castles I’ve visited, these rooms are always so bizarre to me. I don’t know if this is at all of the time/how they were decorated or a more recent thing, but either way it’s pretty wild but I do love the visual and metaphor of it. In this one castle I found out from talking about the carpentry to an attendant that the decorative ceiling work around the chandelier above the dining room table actually hid a trapdoor - and there was other hidden doorways for passages and to secret rooms in this castle, that’s not that unusual - but this particular trapdoor was to allow for the chandeliers to be switched out. Why? Caus they had them in multiple colours of glass, and the lady of the castle liked the chandelier to co-ordinate with her dress if they were having guests round. Aint that such a flex? Definitely some food for future thought.

Aight. Clothing. So anyone that chats fic/au to me or is in my server has probably heard me yell to go watch Kaz Rowe’s videos many times. As I’ve said this fic aint meant to be historically accurate but it does kinda straddle histories, one of which being our own; so women wearing trousers and the like at this time would still be a crime, and draw a lot of attention . Imogen in men’s clothing genuinely isn’t meant to be much of a gender thing but a thing of practicality, and she has mostly lived in the countryside or in the outskirts, so she does not get into the trouble she would should she go into the towns and cities (another reason to keep away past the potential noise, but this Imogen will happily don a dress or skirts if she needs to, she’s just usually working – and maybe it’s a bonus that dressing as a man acts as a sort of flagging for any women who might be interested lol.)

I guess here I should mention how I think this version of Imogen's powers and how they’ve manifested (along with everyone else being unaware of them) will have somewhat changed her disposition and personality, it is a lot more aligned with later campaign Imogen who has more confidence and empowerment, she hasn’t been ostracised for her abilities or particularly bombarded by them, think more like when she has her circlet on, she chooses to listen in (mostly), although of course she has still heard many terrible things (and her life has still been pretty brutal but that’s to be written still).

(it’ll be really fun in this regard getting to explore and explain this version of Laudna, but early days for giving much away on that yet!)

Her skirts are full and structured and plumed by many layers of petticoats that hide the movement of her feet across the wildflower lawn, causing her to appear to be drifting like the bees do from petal to petal, pollen dusting her pleats though ghostly her skin in contrast to the fine fabrics that she dresses for the part, black in mourning, still, bodice tight and sleeve leg of mutton, an ornate decorative layer of black lace laying over each yard of textured textile like spider webs on porcelain patterns, her husband's tableware collecting dust in the kitchen cupboard.

real impractical for how tending towards practical the Lady dares to be, hands on, too busy for errant hairs in piano key ivory and ebony windswept and loose from the high bun she pins in place with a cameo broach, a memento mori engraved in silver and inlayed with ruby eyes and tied with red ribbons. Her skin also proudly displays the age and perhaps trauma that her hair does, lines from laughter and furrowed brows and the feet of the crows that cry from the top of the chimney pots

A little note as to say that Laudna’s appearance is heavily influenced by Victorian mourning wear, with some of the clothes cuts altered to be a little bit more regency and earlier in places. (her  attire is a little outdated, further suggesting her distancing from society and fashion)

A couple of days ago Imogen happened upon a bird with an injured wing, crying helplessly and rolling in circles, feathers taking flight away from the bird that could not, settling around it as it panicked itself bald-

The bird could not live without the use of its wing, and it didn’t, whether that was by Prosciutto or a fox, only its feathers were left in a pile.

Imogen had gathered them into an empty burlap sack; taken them to one of the maids downstairs to clean, repurpose them for filling pillows.

Here’s a silly little easter egg for my p(r)oof reader. Last time he visited we was enjoying a cinnamon roll from the local bakery by the city river (as you do) and a cyclist hit a seagull. It was real distressing, the seagull was distressed too. A handfull of middle aged women stood around it not wanting or knowing how to intervene as its wing was twisted at a crazy angle and it flapped about in a pile of its own feathers, there’s still bird flu about so it is wise to not touch wild birds, and as bleak as it is I was saying to freshy that a wild bird who’s wings broken like that is gonna die, and probably slowly and painfully. Some man came along and lifted up the bird to take the bird off the path and laid it to rest behind an old bridge building, I think he must have mercy killed it too as the bird was already dead when we walked past 10 or so minutes later after finishing our cinnamon roll and giving a cautious glance. So there’s a nice happy memory thrown in there for him.

what appears to be driftwood breaches the surface, then another point, then another

the water belches

Ceviche scares, whinnying as he rears onto his back legs, the Lady leaning forward and clinging to his harness. Imogen stands in her stirrups, leaning across the gap over to the black stallion, grasping his reins and cooing

“All good, boy, all good-”

What had appeared to be driftwood lands on the surface with a slap, looking like the carcass of an old boat left to rot in the muddy bed of a dock, timber ribcaged and leathered skin cladding.

A femur surfaces, followed by a jaw.

Second easter egg for the p(r)oof is a quick one (I’m such a considerate writer, I know.) On a train ride to a loch we went to for a day out there is a stop that is on another lake/body of water, and right by the train tracks (which are at water height) there are 4 or 5 old ships stuck in the mud, most of them just the frames/structures of the old boats, mostly wood and some bits of metal, but they’re pretty big boats! It really looks like whale carcasses. I’ve always wanted to get of there and check it out, and we were gonna stop by on the way back but my health being what it is was giving me some grief that day so we missed 2 trains and then soon the daylight, so hopefully next time buddy.

There’s alotta meat and gore talk and Imogen being a vegetarian without the label for such is just another way of me playing round with all of her complex feelings about what the Lady might be doing, her feelings towards Angharad butchering and nourishing the women with these communal stews and all of that. I’ve been vegetarian myself for 20 years now, and it was all triggered by an existential crisis in my mid teens (still a huge fan of leather and blood though) – Imogen greatly cares about animals, struggles with the thought of anything being slaughtered, she is in some ways more empathetic than most because she knows those she does on so much more of a personal level, really feels how someone is reacting to a situation they are in, but also because of this she knows humans are often corrupt and vile and she is spared such thoughts from animals, only knows their instincts and the love and comfort and service they bring – and yet she will obsess over the Lady’s (potential) tooling on that saddlework leather that’s really fucking brutal if she thinks about it one way and beautiful if she thinks about it another hmmm what if everything’s not black and white.

Oh, and the stew is a homage to @picturesofthegoneworlds’ pre-campaign fic Intertwined which I am lucky enough to co-parent and her writing is hugely influential on mine.

There’s a few things being bread crumb trailed here that I can’t explain in the author notes yet, but I’m looking forward to when I can. One small detail I will give away is just a silly thing about the chapter headings. They are something of significance from within the chapter, given in its ‘proper’ name – maybe someone gets access to some books to do research at some point?

anyways, thanks @astoriacolumnstaircase for enabling me. will do another post like this for future chapters if folks find it interesting.

[lucysarah-c]

how do you think Levi will be with a s/o who has trauma due to sa? What will be he like when they're intimate, and how would he react if she has nightmares or sudden flashbacks and bad times when she thinks about it?

Btw I luv your blog, and the way you headcanon levi. Your arts are very pretty too!

Hi, sweetheart! Thank you so much for your kind words; they mean a lot to me <3 Hope you're doing great!

I think it's a delicate topic for many. The reaction and how each person wants or needs to be treated after such a difficult experience as sexual assault is very particular. I don't feel in a position to give names or anything, but some girls that I've met don't feel triggered by the sexual act per se but by something else that reminds them of the person who abused them, etc.

So I do believe that the journey to learn to cope with traumatic experiences and understand the new ways our brain can react after such events is extremely personal. As I've mentioned in previous answers, Levi is a better listener than he is a talker, so he will probably be glad to provide a place where she feels comfortable talking to him if she wants to. If it's too new and she doesn't feel safe, I think Levi is hyperaware of his surroundings. If he notices she feels unsafe, he will volunteer to do something or keep her company if she prefers it.

About sex, even though I write a lot of smut, I do believe Levi's sex drive is rather low, especially as a Captain. It's not that he doesn't like to have sex or doesn't enjoy it, but I don't think Levi is one of those guys who are into it 24/7 or constantly aroused, etc.

On the contrary, while certain things may get him more in the mood, I think he's rather laid-back about it. So if his partner needs time and comfort before she's ready again, then so be it. I can hardly imagine Levi being like "walking backwards like the exorcist's girl" just because he didn't get laid. Sure, maybe he wishes to do it more frequently or gets in the mood and knows she's not ready yet... so he'll deal with it like any human being does; he'll take care of himself and move on.

In particular, with Levi's history with his mother, the last thing this man wishes to do is "impose" his need for intimacy as if men can't control themselves. Levi can control himself; he's human, not a little beast. So he doesn't mind waiting.

Then, about taking action, I personally headcanon Levi as dominant and enjoying being in control, but if the situation calls for it, Levi would 100% be alright with her taking the lead in what she feels comfortable with, what she doesn't, how far they can go, etc. He may have other "kinks," but he would prioritize making her feel safe.

Regarding the comforting part, I think that's the hardest for Levi because he's not naturally good at it. Nevertheless, he will try his best to provide comfort. Levi would probably try to help calm her down as best he can, offering some tea, perhaps a quiet environment, staying by her side if she needs to feel protected, and most likely listening—he will listen to his partner talk about the same topic 50 times if she needs to vent. In my view, Levi and Levi's love are like a solid cliff; no matter how fiercely the sea roars and crashes against it, he won't falter. This man is a pillar; good luck trying to make him crumble.

I can picture him holding her in his arms after a particularly rough night, his calloused hands gently running through her hair, rocking her slowly, and saying, "Shh, it's alright. Everything is alright, I'm here. Nobody can hurt you when I'm here."

Levi has his personal fears of not being able to protect her as much as promises, but there's no time for him to show his doubts. Perhaps he'll try to lighten the mood a little when she seems calmer, saying, "Nobody messes up with me, aint that true? ...Well, maybe you. I always let you get on my last nerve, you're lucky that I adore you."

Hope that's good enough T-T I feel like on certain topics, I'll never be able to do them justice because they are very tricky scenarios. That's why I have a personal rule in my writing not to delve into PTSD and sexual assault because I personally think those are much more serious and tricky subjects. I feel like sometimes on social media or in fanfiction, they can be heavily romanticized, and I don't think that's something we should romanticize. But that's just my personal opinion and why I avoid writing about those topics.

[frillydolle]

thinkin' ab arthur and john being attracted to u, how they'd both fight for ur devoted attention:(

u joined the about.. a year now? either way, u proved urself worthy to those who were unsure of u.

showing dutch, hosea, and arthur just how helpful u really are. u can shoot, hunt, sew, clean and u knew how to get out out some situations. and so, they welcomed u in with open arms. although 'their sons' were the men that weren't sure of u at first. now, u got along with everyone. especially with the brothers.

although those two men had a secret. that u had no idea about. they both like u.

arthur morgan likes u. not that he'd tell anyone, especially john. he would so tease him about it ): arthur has been sweet on u for a long while now. he liked how u were always determined to help the gang in any way, how u were so understanding when someone needed advice, or indulge urself in little fantasies in doodles and novels (that he totally didn't give u). he'd even eye u up when he knows u weren't looking, especially when u were too focusing on sewing. u were a pretty girl with a pretty personality? ur tent, even had many different trinkets that he gifted u from his travels.

“wanna come huntin' with me? make sure that ms. grimshaw won't find out.” he asked with a chuckle.

“'course i wanna come! lets go, mr morgan.”

either way, arthur was just careful enough to subtly give u a type of special treatment, just no one calls him out on it. u kinda noticed a little bit what if u were wrong? u didn't want to be wrong. at all. it'll be so awkward if u ever confronged him and he was just being the man in command? oh, how awkward!!

and yet, on the otherhand...

john marston also likes u. yes, u maybe had to prove urself that u were an amazing addition to the gang he quickly got along with u. especially ghat u didn't take his smarky comments. he liked that in a woman. u were one impressive woman, and he didn't doubt that, not one bit anymore. u would often feel a pair of eyes on u when u were doing almost anything! similarly, he liked how u ended up being a very important girl - the one that the other girls trusted if they had a problem or just needed someone to be there and listen. how u would step up to micah before someone else (arthur or john) and help u in aid. john sometimes got along with u pretty well and vice versa.

“y'dont really know how to use that, do ya?” he asked u, looking at u as u were cleaning ur shotgun.

“'course i do, marston. have a bettter aim than you anyways.”

“wanna bet on than?” he was testing u. he had no idea how to flirt. he knew that u always had the better aim. “lets bet on it.” u won that bet. his aim was bad

either way, they both tried with u in their own ways. arthud would sit mindlessly so close that ur knee would touch his. while john would be close that his shoulder touching urs. javier notice john's body language around you and hosea noticed arthur's.

and one day, javier confronted john. only to receive a “course i aint sweet on her.. i dont wanna deal with that temper of urs.” u had no temper, he just enjoyed annoying u.

“no hosea, i aint sweet on her. shes.. jus' a friend.” is what hosea got after confronting arthur about it. of course, they'd both deny it.

they wouldn't want u to find out or be rejected.

[jess-fae]

MERMAID AU

Note; this is my first time writing fanfic on here so pls if smth is wrong tell me cus i want to improve i maybe wanna write this out one day but i aint promising it

Excuse the horrible britsh accent

Summary; Hobie is a pirate captured by the British navy and one day Y/N a mermaid finds him

Trigger warning; violence, thoughts of death and angst lost of it

✦ Hobie Brown one of the most known pirates in the Seven Seas was captured by the British navy not too long ago for piracy

✦ after they sunk his ship they chained him to the small wooden boat swimming beside the lieutenant's ship

✦were he stayed trying to plan his great escape, yet unbeknownst to Hobie he had caught a mermaid's attention by playing his guitar every night

✦ sure the lieutenant had many men go down there and try to take the guitar from him but they all failed

✦ so Hobie kept playing every night stealing his sleep

✦and every night the mermaid would watch him from afar; you would have eaten the man long ago usually, he was easy prey after all, all men were with your siren song

✦but you didn't know something about him that didn't sit right with you, maybe it was his never-ending rebellion against the bad man's doing

✦or maybe it really was just the enchanting way he played the guitar with

✦You didn't know but you watched him for hours at a time carefully in the comfort of the darkness so no one could see you

✦That was at the least till a bigger wave hit the small boat he had stayed on and Hobie dropped his guitar into the cold ocean

✦fear lay over him as he desperately tried to get his beloved guitar back but the chains on his legs held him tight

✦Don't do it you had told yourself, interacting with humans could end badly especially when helping them

✦ but you didn't listen, instead you swam after the guitar which was way below the water now, and brought it back up

✦that when your eyes meet with his for the first time

✦Now Hobie wasn't an idiot, every pirate knew to stay away from the merfolk but you held the thing he cared for with the most

✦you saw his hesitation and laid the guitar inside the boat before backing off a little

✦eyes never leaving his, you noticed the change within them, you noticed the fear

✦you looked down at the instrument and back up at his eyes, you wanted him to play again

✦meanwhile the pirate had thought these were his last moments on this earth

✦the pirate who was always so sure that he would escape death, was now fearing it

✦Yet he wondered why the mermaid in front of him hadn't ripped him apart and eaten his heart

✦ following your eyes he found what they looked at, "Ya wan' me to play?" the mermaid nodded

✦and he did so, maybe he earned your grace? it was strange after growing up with stories where merfolk was such a cruel folk

✦ for the next nights this would repeat, after some performances, you would bring him shiny seashells and other trinkets you would at the bottom of the ocean

✦however horror had laid over you when you realised why you enjoyed the pirate company so much

✦it was no longer just his songs and melodies, the charm that Hobie had used on countless variants of people had worked on you

✦ the small touches he had allowed himself to after realizing you wouldn't bite his hand off and his glamouring words had cast a spell on you

✦ so much that you became more careless and aware of the dangers caused by others than him

✦so one night you had climbed into the wooden boat again, listing to him ramble about one of his many stories where he ruined the navy plans

✦"If ya wan' to eat me go ahead dove, I've been unda ya spell for long" his hand rested on your cheek watching as his thumb carefully stroked over your cheek

✦ yet there was no spell made from your voice, you didn't even dare use it in fear it might cut him

✦hobies eyes watched as his thumb traced your lips, only shortly connecting with your eyes before they also mimicked his

✦you wondered what he would taste like, not his blood or flesh but the way humans taste each other

✦the distance between the two of you became unacceptable far apart

✦so unacceptable that you decided to close it, not caring about the million reasons to not kiss a human out of love

✦but by the sea it felt so good, like waves crashing against each other

✦air became irrelevant, only needing this feeling to survive

✦"I think I am in love with ya, dove." Hobie said resting his forehead against yours

✦Turning at the same time a seaman walked along the deck of the ship hearing the pirate's voice, he laughed thinking Hobie had gone completely insane

✦so he looked over the edge to have his jaw falling to the bottom of the sea

✦going to wake the captain to tell him about the mermaid

✦they wasted no time to capture the unexpecting creature

✦a net was thrown over the edge and the small wooden boat was pulled up

✦fear washed over you, as you and Hobie tried to get rid of the net so you could disappear into the depths of the ocean but you failed and you landed on the deck of the ship

✦cloth was wrapped around your mouth, arms were tied together and dragged away from Hobie

✦inside the small cabin you heard the captain's cold voice speak "You ever heard the stories of mermaids being turned human?" his toothy grin scared you

✦as he lifted a blade "I always wanted to know if they were true, how about we find out." he threatened as he cut your beautiful tail apart

...

✦days later you woke up again hoping for it all to be a bad dream but as you looked down you saw that your once powerful mermaid tail and fins were now legs with feet attached to them

✦a shrill scream came rushing out of your lungs as you gripped and scratched your legs, hot tears falling down your face

✦ Regret came over you, you should have never come close to that human... but it wasn't his fault

✦The next days passed by, filled with pain and hate. The captain came inside to look at his creation ignoring the horror he caused

✦you didn't feel the same anymore, just a week ago you were feeling such bliss such love but now...

✦you couldn't feel anymore, you listened to the waves crashing against the ship hoping a storm would rip it apart and drown everyone on board

✦the captain no longer cared and you walked along the boat looking for one person only

✦you tightly held the stolen dagger close as you tried to find your way down to Hobie

✦down in the small wooden boat where everything began you hoped Hobie would understand what you were about to ask for

✦the pirate was happy to see you alive, especially after that tormenting scream that could have only come from you days ago

✦ neither of you said anything, you didn't even know how to start this, to begin with

✦"Do you know why Mermaids aren't meant to be turned into humans?" you whispered as you looked at the small waves

✦" 'cus it is cruel?" he answered ignoring how beautifully your voice was, no wonder you never spoke when you were a mermaid you would have enchanted him eminently

✦silence laid over the two of you again before you spoke "Hobie, I- I can feel this mortal body rotting."

✦salty tears came rushing over you again, was this the price you had to pay for falling in love with him?

✦Hobie was shocked and didn't know how to react so he just held you

✦you clenched the dagger harder before sitting up and holding it out to Hobie

✦ "I want you to kill me, I cannot live this life." you looked into his eyes once you would have felt such love but now you felt nothing

✦and even if wouldn't turn into seafoam like you sisters, this would be the only way to end this tragedy humans called life

Note: now don't worry I am working on part two where there will be a happy ending, I just don't wanna make this too long. <3

[endykelopaedia]

I didn't say gender works separately from race, just differently. As I said, a White person is always White and a PoC is always a PoC, and that's a binary under White supremacy. People hate trans women and trans men for the same reason, they're doing the same thing, i.e. rejecting their AGAB. The cishetpatriarchy thus does not extend anything like the same benefits to trans men because of that. You being a man is therefore not equivalent to me being White. That doesn't preclude race and gender interacting.

NGL, I feel like it was a bit generous of me to apologize for saying something I believe is racist is racist just because the person who said it turned out to not be White. Like you can say it was "only" about male privilege but you were in fact mocking people who bring up their other marginalizations in this discussion. And the reason I bring up that as being generous is because I have to wonder if there's a contrast between that and me being called a transmisogynistic crypto-TERF by a trans man. Like maybe I shouldn't have apologized and it is actually okay to do that? You still seem really offended by it but I don't see why you would if it's valid to make accusations like that. Is it less valid to, without even intending to, accuse a Black person of enacting racism than it is to intentionally accuse a trans woman of enacting transmisogyny? Not even just "enacting transmisogyny," specifically calling me TERF-y and insinuating the words I use for myself make me less of a trans woman, or less a victim of transmisogyny.

I'm also annoyed that you seem pretty intent on taking what I say about the cishetpatriarchal view as being what I believe, which is a really common tactic I see around here usually about how non-transfems discussing being seen as their AGAB is essentially the same as misgendering trans women.

I guess maybe mentally revise my first ask to having just said "I didn't know you were Black and do not particularly care, I deleted it for other reasons."

to be clear; when i said "only a white woman could think white privilege and gendered oppression are completely separate" i meant that only a white woman could think that white supremacy and patriarchy are somehow any more separate than cisgender supremacy and patriarchy. theres nothing about your logic that another white queer couldnt use to say they dont really have white privilege (which ive noticed a lot of people in your movement TEND TO DO) the same way you insist us trans men cant really have male privilege.

but again. i dont think you really believe that theyre not deeply connected anyway. bc why would you then invoke the existence of black trans men unprompted? and it was unprompted. my post didnt bring up black people in any capacity. it was about male privilege. and how men use their other oppressions to pretend they dont have it. which i mocked them for. bc that's stupid.

idk what a crypto-TERF is or what thought terminating cliché it provides for you but im gonna be very clear that you saying "Nonono, I fully believe that youre a man i just dont think wider society ever will or treat you like one, and i base my politics off of this" is not somehow a better or more-supportive-than-TERFS position to have.

i dont really care for your apologies because i know they ring hollow. if you still believe what i said was racist against again, MYSELF. you really only were being deferential to my blackness and you havent actually listened to me. a lot of white people like to pretend theyve done such a good job at protecting black people by invoking us to argue with other white people (like you assumed i was) as "activism" and you are nooooo different. you say you dont care that im black but your "actions" (arguments on the internet) dont reflect that.

i will apologise for one thing though, i never meant to imply that you were somehow less of a woman or don't experience transmisogyny for how you identify. fucked up of me. and the fact i aint a he/him female isnt relevant to that.

really, what i shouldve said is that i know that you've self admitted to being isolated from a lot of other transfems who talk about transmisogyny on here specifically bc of your beliefs. and youre also quite infamous for it. which doesnt mean you dont have a valuable thought in that head of yours but it does mean i'm more inclined to listen to women who arent you on the subject.

[ghostsprettymama]

MONA LISA.

“ i want you to give in”

Warnings: smut,bullying,panick attacks,alcohol and possible drug use, anxiety, talks of suicide,toxic relationships,fatphobia,gun violence, throw up. MDNI.

Word count: 4,274 words 22,560 characters

pairings: Riri williams x Black! Reader fluff, shuri x Black! reader, top!black reader x gang member ! Shuri udaku

ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+ UNLESS MENTIONED OTHERWISE

A/N: NAUR BC I WAS WORKING ON TS IN MY DRAFTS AND I ACCIDENTLY DELETED IT 😭😭 BUT TYSM FOR SM LOVE ON THE LAST POST HERES PART 2.

part one part three

blue text = whispering.

Y/N pov

You woke up in your room . With no collection on how you ended up there, but you do remember why you have this massive ass hangover, you checked your phone seeing Shuri’s message on instagram.

you squinted at the messages smiling, but your momment got ruined by your Brother “ wake yo ass up or T and all of us are leaving yo blackass home and you're gonna miss your first day" Said Erik on the other side.

You groaned getting up from your bed charging your phone while you went to the shower "siri play my song. " you said in your gentle morning voice.

Your phone responded automatically playing your song while you showered putting on your F/s bodywash, taking care of yourself in the shower, stepping out when youre squeaky clean and smelling good.

Youd put on your fit for the day stopping the music, taking your phone and charger with you, along with your purse so you have other mecessarities with you.

you went downstairs heading outside while Erik was waiting for you, he looked you up and down "Fuck you goin lookin like that" Erik said glaring down at you, the 6'2 man said looking down at you "take ya blackass back and change, my sister aint going out like no whore" he said.

A whore? You're dressed like a whore.. you look at him your pretty eyes threatened tears, your pretty makeup threatening to be ruined. "nono please, bee I promise you can go like that you aren't a whore" Erik said to you, your tears no longer threatening to come out.

You both headed to the car and the Udaku sibblings followed behind, shuri looked you up and down Before smacking your ass when the older brothers arent looking.

"SHURI-"

you yelped and the men turned around looking like someone was about to be murdered, both of them reaching for their hips, shuri motioned for them not to and you didnt understand why.

"sorry saw a spider" the two tall dudes sighed shaking their heads "dont do that shit again unless you want us to make sure someones not breathing anymore" said T'challa shaking his head getting in the drivers seat after unlocking one of his many cars, but he only used this one for school. you reached for shuris' hand but she shook her head " youre big now, you dont need to hold my hand" She obviously teased,

You just got in the backseat of the car with shuri, the two men sitting up front. you thought about what she had said, it made you upset either way, but you shook your head listening to one of your second favorite songs

SHURI POV

she looked at instagram going to her dms, seeing one unread dm from Riri, a close friend of hers, they werent at all interested in eachother but here and there theyd joke like they were.

She looked at the previous convo trying to remember what and who they were talking about and why, these two werre notorius shit talkers, but aint nobody stopped them, even if they can they cant.

Ohhh... she thought ttyping fast with her digits trying to carry on with the conversation hoping Riri isnt mad,Not that Shuri needs her, she js enjoys her prescense as a friend, she held Riri dearly to her.

She rolled her eyes turning her phone off, Shuri knew Riri was just concerned about Y/n, after all the school they go to is fucked up, but its the closest and least expensive one.

T'challa pulled up to the school everyone but Y/n getting out, Shuri decided to show out and open y/ns door helping her out the car. She held her hand as they walked into ths school, everyone looking Y/n up and down

"Why are they looking at me shuri.." she said to shuri in a whisper, "well maybe because youre a woman thats fine as fuck coming to a bigass school, and holding my hand?" Y/n bobbed for the answer and got the wrong apple, Shuri took the ' sarcastic asshole ' response in return for a dumb question.

T'challa pov

"You two already got your schedule right?" T'challa said turning to them, hoping to god they didnt forget the schedules at home or theyre gonna have to drive back. Even if T' challa seemed to be some ' big scary gangsta ' as titled by peers. He rather not be late to class.

"yeah, i got me and i put Y/n's schedule in her purse so we good." Erik said, T'challa got closer to erik when he pulled schedule out, shit was so crumbled you could barely read the words on there. "My nigga what the FUCK is this??" t'challa looked at him with his signature look on his face.

"Bro leave me alone i was rushing" said Erik looking back at him as if he got hit in the head with a hot comb. they both broke out into laughter not being able to take looking at eachother like that. "anyways we got the same schedule, what about you two?" T'challa looked at the girls who were already gone.

"did they ju- " T'challa turned to erik and he nodded, both of them shook their head in sync. "kids these days.."he said causing erik to chuckle.

They hated eachother but still kept the unremovable bond of their good friendship, who even knows why they arent actually friends anymore. The tale is like a mystery to people. Neither T'challa or Erik open up about it, but only shuri and the udaku sibblings mother Ramonda knew.

homeroom period bell rings

Y/N pov

She sat by Shuri and her friend Riri we met while walking around,both were on each sides of me and it mad me feel safe, she adjusted her braclets bracelets, some teachers gave her work the students were already working on,i only had gotten it due to the fact that shes a " hard worker".

Riri nudged me motioning me to pull my jacket up and cover my chest, I raised my eyebrows looking down, shit...she left hickeys on my chest you thought to yourself zipping up your jacket "Thanks Riri..." you smiled at her and she gave you a fist bump. "its nothin, a sista helps a sista out" she said as the bell rang your homeroom teacher coming in, damn she was fine.

RIRI POV

Shuri better not let this one go, i actually like her. She sighed to herself after fist-bumping her, Watching Miss Romanoff come in Rolling her eyes, she desperately loathed that woman with everything in her damn body.

“Good morning class we have a new student today, could you stand up” said Natasha,Riri glanced at her and she got up walking to the front,

I dont got a good feelin about this, She looked at shuri and shuri nodded feeling the exact feelings

Y/n POV

She got up, coming to the front of the classroom waiting for it to go silent. She gave her usual pretty smile. “ Hello im Y/n L/n and i hope this school treats me right”. She was going for her seat before Romanoff said something.

“ any facts? Like your family or you” She said to Y/n as she sat down, she looked at shuri before looking at riri, both of them shook their heads. “I Rather not, thats not anyones buisness in here anyway” you shrugged sitting back down, finishing the papers you had gotten.

Romanoff's eyebrow raised before she went to her desk handing you a paper and book. Youd put it aside before putting the papers in youur pink folder putting it in your folder.

you felt eyes on you, when you turned you looked at a white boy with brown hair and dark eyes trying to uncover who you are.

But his friend next to him calling him, causing the boy to look away.

You raised an eyebrow at his actions, a weird one you thought. Maybe he wanted to play a game, but you werent interested in some white boy with a staring problems games.

After class

you and your two friends left first standing by the lockers and talking about what had happened, shuri paid attention to your body language taking note of Peter, if he made you uncomfy she would do something about it, if he didn't then he was fine.

“Yeah, the weird guy? Peter, he’s usually talking to ned in their world, I don't know what's up with me today.” Riri said shrugging it off, you dismissed it too not caring about him either way, shuri looked at Peter and ned while you two talked. “I just find it weird that the nigga was staring at me like I'm the Mona Lisa,” you said uncomfy with what he did. “Hold that thought” riri and shuri went over to the two guys.

you were on your phone as you suddenly looked up seeing two red marks on peters face.

Shuri POV

She was paying attention to her friends body language “I just find it weird that the nigga was staring at me like I'm the Mona Lisa,” said y/n shifting her body showjng she was uncomfy. almost immediantly the two girls looked at eachother nodding oou im gonna beat this dough boy colored bitches ass. shuri thought " hold that thought" she said as she moved off the wall going over to Peter and ned, they wanted nothing with ned he was cool for now.

"What the fuck is your problem," Riri said staring up at Peter. She didn't care at all about the height difference in height, after all the bigger they are the harder they fall. Riri put her finger in the middle of his chest roughly pressing it against the middle as if it was a knife. “So you just gon’ creep my friend out and stare at her? We know the shit you're trying to pull Peter and stop digging for shit you shouldn't even know” said shuri spitting venom at the male before giving him a big smack to the face

“Hey man in sorry for him, he was j-” ned tried to defend his friend but Riri interrupted him "Shut the fuck up ned, this dont involve you" she stared at him as if the poor boy committed an act of murder to her friend. "if you wanna keep ya girl mj, even if that bitch is yours, leave Y/n alone" said Shuri walking away with Riri.

"does she even know why shes not at that school anymore? or about the shit both of your familys do huh?" Peter said as he was trying to anger Shuri and Riri more. “Its none of her buisness” said shuri as they kept walking .

“What does he-”dont worry about it” Shuri interrupted as they continued walking, Y/n looked at them before catching up to the others

LATER

Y/n pov

you sat on the bleachers watching the two play basketball for gym class recording it to watch later on my camera, when the bell rang shuri lifed her shirt whiping her sweat off, her sports bra and v line showing, along with the lovebites and kisses from lastnight on her body. you stopped filming putting the camera in your purse staring at her body.

"you like her ? " a voice said to her causing her to jump, her purse being sent all the way to shuri from her jumping so much . you turned around looking at the pretty girl beside of you "kiana" she said to you, her name so you nodded saying yours "Y/n" you said smiling to her. Her entourage was behind her watching the two of her “oou shes pretty... Is that Shuri's girlfriend?” said one of the girls “Thats Mariana, ignore her” you nodded “so what was your question” you adjusted yourself looking at Kiana, you weren't scared of her and you knew what she was trying to do. “a statement actually, You shouldn't like shuri, shes like of dem playgirls” she looked at your hickeys and kisses shuri left on you. You nodded getting up “mmh. Kiana rii? Yeah. Just because you were one of her hoes or rejected by her, dont mean you get you and ur friends to scare me away from my childhood bestie, i know her more then you ever would” you declared showing no form of emotion, Riri and Shuri called for you as they came out the lockerooms.

“It's ‘ight, she doesn't like fat bitches ‘nyway,” said Mariana, causing you to turn around and stare “ that's crazy becausee... She didnt say that last night. “ you shrugged it off walking past your bag, and giving shuri a little kiss on the lips, you dont know what fueled you but you did it anyways.

“What's with the sudden kiss?” shuri stared then looked up to see Kiana and Mariana then back to y/n who bent down to pick her bag up causing her to stare.

“Mmh y/n..” she stared for the longest time before smacking it, loud enough for the gym to hear. You flinched turning to shuri with a face red as a tomato. “Payback” she’d say smiling, Mariana and Kiana walked over to shuri putting their arms around her.

“Hey, baby. Why are you fucking around with someone like her I thought you liked us” Mariana said her acrylics Circling them on her chest. Shuri smiled at her getting lost in the momment " you know its not like that ma im up for anyone i can do what i want, nobody gon' hold me down anytime soon." she used the same nickname and voice she used for you. "shuri." said riri and kiana hushed her.

you had a “ did this bitch really just...” face on offended at how your two faced friend was acting"Nah Riri let's go. let shuri fuck around with her hoes like she always does" Youd say leaving and not waiting for riri, the bell rang for lunch, you were hurt bad.

Riri POV

" you said you wouldnt play her Shuri, i knew you were a damn lie" Riri said spitting venom at her as she got her bag leaving " like you said her soft ass wasnt gonna last here" Riri turned around staring up at shuri. "yknow what.." she clocked both of the thots on shuris dead in the nose. " fuck you and your thots, you know i dont fuck with this playgirl shit" she said leaving.

Riri saw the girls go the same way y/n went as she looked both at Kiana and Mariana "oou im sick of yall." she ran after them following them to the bathroom

Shuri looked at the two , realising what she did and said was wrong, "fuck." she sighed movinf past them and going to the lunchroom to get Erik.

Riri on the other hand came in the bathroom seeing the other 4 girls bang on the stall Y/n was in . she heard her crying and hyperventilating, she was havinqg "either yall gon' get the fuck out or im airing this bitch out right now." Riri reached for under her shirt, the girls stopped running out as she sighed, sitting by the stall

"Hey Y/n you 'ight ?" she leaned against the stall listening to her cry." Shuri probably didnt mean it, she was lo- " she got interrupted by the sounds of her throwing up and the toilet flushing. soon y/n came out, sitting on the counter in the bathroom.

" im Fine, i know sex doesnt mean you love them its whatever, we were drunk" y/n said i saw her try to keep a straight face, but she failed crying her eyes out again, her makeup was ruined, you signed hugging her, she burried her head into riri's shoulder as she patted and rubbed y/n's back to soothe her. "lets get you prettied up again yeah?" said Riri as she used makeup wipes from her gym bags cleaning y/n's face. "you know how to do make up?" Y/n sniffled asking you. "girl hell yeah i do? ion got lucious lashes like you do but shiit i got the falsies that look like yours. I wish i had your features" Riri said with a smile, doing y/n's makeup for her.

"Why'd you say that? youre so pretty and strong Ri, and you stand up for your friends ." She smiled. wow shes so pretty, why does she play games with shuri.. id deffinently treat her right. Riri shook her head as she didnt know why she had these thoughts, she wasnt going to act on it either, shes not that kind of person. "thanks." she smiled

Y/n pov

She was so nice to me and i dont know why, Riri turned my face to the mirror, i smiled seeing my new makeup i hopped down giving her a kiss on her head hugging her . " thank you so much Ri!"

Erik, T'challa and Shuri came busting in and we both sighed turning to them. "what the hell happened in here?" T'challa said , Shuri looked at you hoping you returned contact, still hurt by what you said you didnt look at her. your focus was on T'Challa, " nothing. it isnt important " you said turning back to them going back to talking yo Riri.

Erik came over putting his hand on your shoulder, thinking its shuri's you smack it off turning around " the fuck do you want?? didnt you already do en- you turned to eriks face staring you dead in the eyes. " Were serious y/n. what the fuck happened." He said trying to intimidate the answers out of you, well not trying you already are.

"If i said its nothing then its nothing micheal! im sure you know because the captain of hoes over there already ran her mouth. instead of fucking helping me from her sillicone dick crazed hoes." you screamed starting to go off because you were getting overstimulated. "i dont need a damn knight right now because i got fucked over five minutes ago just because one of Shuri's crazy ass fans" you pushed past them leaving , you decided to hide in the darker part of the schools library.

The lights were busted here, you curled up into a ball sighing, your eyes felt heavy, and behan to close, eventually closing for a good time.

you got woken up by someone moving your head to their lap, you open your eyes trying to see who it was shuri. you were too tired to argue so you just sat up sighing.

"what time is it," you asked her as she looked at you, she had a look you saw the look on her face that you never saw throughout the 13 years you knew her. "its 4th period, almost over but why the hell are you hiding here." said shuri looking at me with a cigarette in her mouth.

“Number one.” you said as you took the cigarette from her mouth. Stomping on it, "two if you wanna talk to me do it respectfully" you straddled her lap looking her in the eyes you got close to her almost close enough to kiss her " you can speak now, and dont use nicknames" you said crossing your arms.

Shuri Pov

Shuri blew the smoke away from your face fanning it before diverting her attention back to you " why are you jealous if we arent dating" i said rasing a brow trying to get the answers out of her

Y/n hesitated before huffing, her cold breath blowing on my face. " Because you make my heart race, you give me butterflies and just make me wanna do things to you.. " she got close to my lips and my heart began to race, but she pulled away, her eyes looking at me full of lust and anger. " then why dont you act on them ma." i said smirking knowing that'd set her her off.

"I said no names," Y/n said yanking my hair back and causing me to look up. "you already pissed me off acting like a player, I know damn well you arent one" she’d positioned herself to be looking down at me. “ i want you to myself shuri, im not sharing you, i want you to give in “ she said, her lips kissing mine.

her lips went to attack my neck leaving love bites, and bite marks. The arousal this woman is causing me will be the death of me, part of me wants to make her work, and another just wants her so bad, but i deffinently cant do this relationshp shit, its scary.

“How about you work for it? Yeah?” i said mocking her but Y/N absolutely didnt like that,she yanked my hair causing me to moan. “Okay okay, fuckbuddies yeah? How about tha -

“stop fucking talking.” she took my shirt off of me. She sucked and kissed my collar bone causing tiny moans to escape my mouth, her tongue swirled and flicked on my nipples, and I heard the librarian nearby. Oh fuck. Please baby don't do this right now. “Shut the fuck up then” Y/n whispered before going back to attacking my breasts, her fingers sliding to my pussy, her digits Massaging my clit in a circular motion.

god damn she was so sexy like this. I moaned in her ear causing her to bite my nipple, the pain causing my pussy to get wetter, her fingers entered my pussy fingering me nice and slow, the squelching being able to be heard.

Shuri tried to speak but got interrupted by Y/n’s thumb rubbing her clit in circular motions, She felt so good right now, Finally, y/n would let go of Shuri's hair .

Peter and neds voice was heard and that made y/n smile, “ma, no. We can continue late-” she whispered to the angered y/n pulling her pants down. She yoinked her panties down not even giving shuri a second to speak, immediately eating her pussy out. She blew cold air against Shuri's’s pretty soaked cunt, she used her tongue to explore her pretty cunny(cunt,pussy). Shuri gasped for air her hips rocking against her face riding her high.

Peter and Ned slowly got closer and closer. “Baby I'm gonna cum fuck, please me just like that I'm so proud of you” Shuri would say keeping their eye contact with y/n. “mmh cum in my mouth, please i wanna taste you “ said Y/n.

Shuri bit her lips as she squirted in Y/ns mouth,Shuri panted then moaned louder when y/n was licking her clean.

Y/n licked my thighs clean before fixing my pants and underwear, i stood up fixing it myself.

“do you forgive me?” Y/n Nodded turning to shuri “cmon were gonna be late” i said going down the stairs holding her hand.

Y/n pov

I smiled to myself, that didnt settle the jealously but i knew I did what those hoes couldn't. Pride filled my stomach as we went down the stairs facing Ned and Peter who had shocked faces on.

“well.. We were sent to look for you” said ned beginning to turn around to the entrance of the library, walking away.

Peter sighed rubbing his temples. “in a school...” he said with disappointment in his voice Shaking his head “could you two like?? Not wait to fuck at home?” he said stating the fact that we have a problem.

"you mad i got to her first peter?" said Shuri getting in his face. "see thats your problem. you assume i want her because i was staring, i was only doing so because shes pretty and i was curious" said peter looking down at shuri.

"So you hit him for no reason Shuri?" I said turning to her with an eyebrow raised. "well he made my friend uncomfy, so i fixed it Udaku style fym?" she said acting as if she didnt assault a man because he made me uncomfy. i shook my head .

"well we gotta go peter last period of the day." i said skipping on to the next class.

------

CLASS STARTS

I wrote notes down in my notebook for history, since its black history month today they were studying Marsha p. Johnson, i paid close attention the whole class.

i had sat next to erik,shuri and riri. T'challa didnt have this class anymore since he passed the test with full credit.

Erik had his glasses on since we sat far and he needed to see desperately, sometimes I’d et him copy my notes as long as he changed it up, Mariana and Kiana came in with busted noses and black eyes.

my phone dinged and in sync we all checked the gc.

i looked at riri and she whistled looking at the sky, we all laughed as the bell rang, all of us going outside to the car.

Eventually we made it home in time for my rest,i went on the steps and felt shuri turn me around giving me a deep and long kiss. evemtually i pulled away before it lead to anything else due to me being tired. "thanks ma, for coming back" she smiled smacking my ass before she left.

i smiled at her watching her till she went inside, going inside myself getting ready to sleep

----

A/N: this took long as hell to write my fingers hurt 😒. LEAVE A LIKE BELOW IF YOUD WAANT MORE

[torialefay]

Thank you for saying what ive been thinking omfg.

Chris does everything he can. There's very few people in kpop that exudes the vibe that they love music and making music as much as he does. Being an idol is what he worked so hard to get and im pretty sure hes implied time and time again and even explicitly said that he wouldn't want to live if he couldnt be an artist (and that bleeds into shy he loves the kids so much, but thats veering off topic). Im just constantly baffled how many people want him to throw it all away (bc idk how harsh jype would punish him), you know, just tossing out his reason to live, to talk about the war. Yes, absolutely. There are so, so many people dying because of this war, and its truly horrifying, but how many people screaming at him are willing to do what they're demanding of him and the kids? I always see people talking numbers and statistics, but rarely do i ever see someone talk realism. There are plenty of people who could spend their time going out to find ways to help Palestine instead of going online to yell at 8 men who got famous for their music and anyone who supports them. Some of yall have never listened to "antivist" by bmth and it shows.

Yeah, Chris looked so tired in that recent clip and just in general tbh (same for the rest of the kids). Everytime i see a clip of Chris when he said "im going to protect every single one of you" or when hes being super flirty and trolling or recently when he said he cant fix all of their problems, i just think "this man is going through what i went through, just 5 years later than i did." I literally have done all that, but instead of to a massive fanbase, it was to my friends, lmao. Being fiercely protective and wanting your friends to feel comfortable enough to lean on you, especially since they've been so good to you, but its turned into exhaustion bc you met some people who took mad advantage of your love and now youve gotta set some boundaries and limits. Unfortunately, he's an idol, so setting hard boundaries can be difficult without someone saying he's too cold and uncaring with fans or something bc we know just how fair the media can be when it comes to Chris🙄 i aint know him personally and never will, but if my interpretation of those clips are true and if this trend continues, he'll hopefully find peace and a decent balance with mental health in about 5 years time🥲

i really REALLY hope so. i'm not gonna lie, it surprised me like a week or two ago when chris said on bubble: "i feel like my enfj is slowly becoming intj hahaha". literally going from what is supposed to be one of the most expressive & involved mbti's to one that is most associated with being less interactive and more reserved/cold when meeting people. i don't want to say intj's are hardened, i don't think it's like that. but maybe that they just have a harder shell. which makes me really sad. it makes me think he's getting so burnt out by being the one that's always there for everyone that he's slowly needing to draw back to himself.

i hope that whatever happens, he's becoming his most genuine self. but i also hope that he isn't turning one way or another simply because of what's been expected of him. he's so good to us & it hurts to think that he'd have to change bc of stays. but if it's not due to that, then i'm happy that he's doing what he needs to do & i hope he can feel okay with setting boundaries for himself 🫶🏼

[i-didnt-do-1t]

Day four of @ailesswhumptober

Painful transformations/body modifications- “you’re a monster.”

all of my friends who know about historical fashion I am so tired and so eepy and wrote this in thirty minutes forgive me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katherine didn't want to go to the party to begin with. It was being hosted by a friend of her father's, a rich man, a stern man who allegedly had a son around her age. Who was (allegedly) not only handsome, and rumoured to be kind. But who also liked red heads.

She was told it was a perfect match.

Katherine didn't agree. She also hadn't told Jack.

Realistically she didn't think she was going to need to. It had felt so far away when she had sat up with him on the fire escape last night, especially when she'd already long since decided that she'd work something out, some excuse that meant she wouldn't have to show face. Perhaps a sudden illness picked up from the lodge, or a 'womanly' problem that couldn't be helped.

But here she was, three hours before it was due to begin, sat on the plush stool in front of the mirror in her room, fire blazing behind her as her hair was twisted up into an uncomfortable bun atop her head.

She had to admit the dress she was directed to wear this evening was gorgeous, a new one that a handmaid had picked out for her, a green she knew suited her. But she didn't want to let herself enjoy it. Instead, stared at its reflection with resentment.

It made no difference, how she felt about it didn't seem to matter much, and she was half dressed already, in stockings and underwear and a loose corset that she knew was going to be tightened after they finished with her hair.

She winced as it was yanked on again, none too carefully. Usually, they were more gentle, she was friends with these women after all. They had certaintly looked after her more than her father ever had growing up, older women with plump faces though she wasn’t sure their exact ages, motherly, in a sense; but she knew she'd kicked up a fuss earlier, making their job more difficult. So, they weren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment.

"Right, that's your hair." It was short. "Lift your arms miss, so I can fix the corset proper."

She had to look good, her father had told her sternly, if she wanted to secure a prospective husband this evening; especially a good one, good men were hard to come by. He had told her that they were running out of good men that were willing to take her hand, but that good or bad he would be marrying her off eventually, that if she ended up with someone horrible, cruel, they'd be well suited; that maybe they'd be able to get her to listen in a way he had tried and failed to do over the years.

Katherine, with the backs of her eyes burning, had called him a monster.

Then he'd grabbed her arm as she tried to storm past him to the door and told her sharply to get upstairs. To get dressed. His tone was one she knew not to disobey.

The corset was pulled tight and done suddenly enough to make her wince, she could feel the expression as the strings were yanked on, and see it on her own face in the reflection. Then pulled tighter again. her waist shrank with the movement, the corset pushing her shoulders back and her chest out and her organs uncomfortably into her rib cage.

All at once a wave of revulsion, at the party, at the need to be perfect and dainty and to find a husband or be nothing, crashed over her.

She tried to inhale and she couldn't, the corset was only getting tighter- it was different from her daytime ones- one meant to accentuate and shrink and shape-

"I don't want to wear it-" her voice was shallow. childish, like she was twelve again and not eighteen. A young girl at her father's mercy and not a grown woman with a career, a life outside of parties and suitors.

"Katherine don't start complainin' again. We aint want to hear it-"

"But-"

Another aggressive yank that hurt, that felt like it flushed the air from her lungs. Her hands landed on her vanity to steady herself.

"That's a good girl."

"Please-"

"There's no need for this, you're gonna ruin your eyes."

She couldn't tell if the struggle to breathe was the corset or her own upset, if one was making the other worse. But her shallow inhales were emphasised with a sob that only made one of the other maids, the one that had been stoking the fire, come over and place a hand on her shoulder in some bastardisation of comfort. Her grip was strong and holding her still so the corset could be pulled in her further.

"We just want you to look good Katherine, settle down with a nice man, nothin' like the ones we got."

Her eyes burned. She couldn't breathe. Her hands gripped the edge of vanity so tight she could feel the indents forming in the heels of her palms.

"Exactly," the maid's callused, working hand rubbed her shoulder as the other behind her began to knot the cords at the base of her spine, a tidy bow she could tuck away. "Men like a good lookin' lady. A nice body. You'll be fine."

She couldn't-

"See.” The hands pulled away, a rough thumb swiped at stray tears under her eyes and tipped her chin up so she was looking in the mirror, looking at herself, disproportionate, in pain, lightheaded, waist far too small to be natural.

"Aren't you lookin' pretty, Miss Katherine."

[slashingdisneypasta]

Robber!Good Day For It Thugs x Cashier!Reader || Excerpts

Plot: I'm supposed to be finishing off a school project but I'm thinking about the Good Day For It thugs as robbers with a cashier!reader who falls for/really clicks with one of them and it kind of ends Bonnie & Clyde style. These are just quick tasters.

Warnings: Robbery setting, gun mentions, use of 'sweet girl' for reader in Norman's, that 'is that a gun or are you just happy to see me' in Wayne's, flirty reader in Dale's, etc.

Tagging: @marinerainbow and @slxsherwriter .

*Norman*

"Get the money outta the safe, and no one gets hurt. Don't try anything idiotic, we got guys outside just in case."

You glance at the other two inside the store, a shifty looking old man and a guy who looks like he'd steal your lunch money in highschool for smokes, then back at the leader.

Maybe its the way the other two scare you, or how handsome he is, but you trust him. You believe him; you wanna do anything he says to. Giving a nervous, eager nod, you turn and kneel down by the safe. He says something to his partners, something like 'keep watch', then comes up behind you so you can feel his presence directly above you. He speaks lowly so only you can hear. "Good choice, uh... "

"Y/N."

"Y/N. Thank you for not makin' this harder then its gotta be. Could've been a pain. This aint personal, I got nothin' against you, you seem like a sweet girl- its just work."

"Understood."

As the safe opens up under your hand, you release a relieved breath. He genuinely sounds happy with you. Well- at least not mad.

One thing sticks in your head as you pull cash out of the safe and shove it in the bag he holds open for you, now kneeling beside you.

Sweet girl.

*Wayne*

You cannot believe this is happening. You weren't even supposed to be here, today! But freaking Barbie just had to swap shifts with you today, and now you are here, and now- oh fuck, one of them is walking over.

Carefully, you shift backwards away from the bench that sits between you and the customers robbers; your eyes catching the shining metal tucked into the waistband of his pants when he pulls his jacket clear out of the way. "Dont do anything stupid, now. Listen carefully, and nobody here's gotta get hurt, huh?" Oh... fuck...

This is just fucking brilliant.

Before you can bite your tongue, venom coats it. You cant control it. "-Is that a gun, or are you just happy to see us?" Your boss gives you a pissed off, terrified look, but you ignore him completely.

The man, close to 60 if not past it, immediately grins a wicked grin; looking directly at you and your glare for the first time. "... actually, little bit a' both, thanks for asking."

For a moment you keep up eye contact, glaring, but before you know it a traitorous grin quirks at one corner of your mouth. Immediately, you look away and cross your arms. Can this robbery be over, already??

*Dale*

You always had such terrible taste in men- you were aware of that. It wasn't a secret, it was a problem; you just couldn't help it! And he was, just... so cute.

You never felt so comfortable being held at gun point, before.

"You," He starts, raising his brows at you and gesturing at you with the gun. "You get me the fucken money. Now."

Nodding quietly, you turn carefully in front of him (Hands raised above your head like he instructed, earlier), subtly (or not-so-subtly) straightening your body and arching your back a bit so your ass looks good. Turning your head to the side, you raise your brow at him; a mischievous twinkle in your eyes. "'s that what you wanted?"

One of the other men chokes on a laugh, but your attention is on the younger one. He gives the other guy a glare, before returning his attention to you. "Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Now open the safe."

"Can I lower my arms?"

"Of course you can- "

"Well, you weren't clear." You shrug, kneeling down to the safe and stifling a giggle. So cute.

As you start to unlock the safe, the guy comes up behind you and kneels into a squat beside you; waiting anxiously for the safe to open up. Like this is his first robbery- like he's trying to make someone proud.

Hm... a baby criminal.

... at the last second, before you put in the last number, you stop and turn to him. "I just have one thing to say."

His eyes, blue and beautiful up this close, are filled with turmoil. Because he's trying to do his job- but you are making it unnecessarily frustrating. "What!??"

"The stuff in the display cabinet's a lot more valuable then the emergency cash in here. Don't forget that." You give a wink, then put in the last number and open up the safe.

A grin slips across his face at you and Oh, god. You know you're gonna ruin your whole life for this man.

[therealbeachfox]

Myths of Gotham: Batman & The Two Cities

Ever wondered what the DCU looks like for all those people who aren't privy to the what's and why's of the multiverse shattering events they live through? I sure do. That's melded with my "The Completely Normal Adventures of a Crime Alley Kid" series into this: An exploration of the stories the kids of Gotham would create to explain the world around them. Featuring a foul-mouthed homeless Crime Alley kid vending an education to the younger set, and one Bernard Dowd adding his historical and cultural commentary on the side.

Also available on Ao3, but I'm posting it here because I think it works just fine as a standalone without the 160k+ words of Henchman-In-Denial shenanigans on the side.

Or ignore that link and read it below the cut!

Myths of Gotham

Supplemental Document 3

Harris (Age-12, Male, Irish/African) [[1]]. “The Origin of Batman and the Robins” Interview by Bernard Dowd. 14th August 202X. BDOH #009, Myths of Gotham Project, https://BerDProductions.net/MythsofGothamProject/bdoh-009.html. Accessed 21st November 202(X+2)

[[1. No further information given, even after being told it’d be for proper attribution. "Harris" is also most likely to be pseudonym. Sorry, researchers of the future.]]

Transcript has been mildly edited for clarity and to remove vocal disfluencies. It is otherwise presented in its entirety without any attempts to correct grammar and other verbal slips. Additional notes by the transcriber may be found in the footnotes.

========

     Alright, everybody needs to settle their shit down, it’s education time. If you don’t wanna sit here and listen to me explain shit, this place has got like twenty other rooms you can go hang out in, k? This aint school, no one’s keeping you here. ‘Xcept you, Carlos. Yeah, well you tried to go chasing after one of the Exquisite Birds the other day, so you obviously need to learn why you shouldn’t be doing that shit.

     Okay, so. We’ll be talking about the Bat Man, but there’s a lotta other stuff we gotta talk about too, first. He didn’t just show up outta fucking nowhere, you know. Now settle down, thank our slumming Posh Boy over there for tonight’s food, and watch what your tongues wag cuz he’s recording all this shit.

     Alright. The Bat Man. Where the fuck did he come from? Why the hell is he here? Why do other cities get flying muscle-men in bright colors and we got a living shadow that breaks bones? Why the hell is our shithole of a city like this? Well sit back and listen a learning, cuz unfortunately it all ties together.

     Alright, so. The first thing we gotta make clear is that we don’t live in the first Gotham. We’re the second Gotham, the johnny-come-lately Gotham, the weird mirror shadow of the first Gotham. Not saying the other Gotham’s the “real” one and we’re some sort of fake, just that there are two Gotham’s and the one we live in aint the original.

     And an important side-note cuz I can see some of you squirming to ask and someone always asks here, I’m not talking about the False Gothams you sometimes see from between buildings or in the reflections of broken windows or stuff. [[2]] Those things aren’t real; they’re just illusions and traps, spun up by something that wants to lure you in with the promise of there being a version of the world where everything didn’t go to shit. It’s all lies. Most kids who go hunting after False Gothams never come back, but there’ve been a few who have, and they’ve got wild as shit stories to tell. But we’re not getting into all that tonight. Basic point is, you don’t get to The Other Gotham by going down weird alleyways. Nah, you just gotta go down.

[[2. Harris appears to be referring to Gotham’s ‘Mirage City’ phenomenon where heated air trapped in narrow gaps between skyscrapers can sometimes warp the light enough to appear to show an altered city skyline between them. The implications of the fact that this phenomenon is most often reported near sites of Justice League confirmed inter-dimensional fracture points is beyond the scope of this project and will just be noted as a point of further study for the reader.]]

     So the way it was told to me by the kids who knew shit back when I was among you all listening was like this: Gotham, that is to say, our Gotham, is The Black City, The Gotham Above. The Other Gotham, the original Gotham, is The White City, the Gotham Below, and it was here first. [[3]] The way it’s told, it’s not just the first Gotham, it’s the first city ever, built (or carved) out of the rock way back before people had figured out things like writing shit down instead of remembering it all, math, or how to build something more than two stories high.

[[3. There have been urban legends of an underground city that exists as a mirror of Gotham since the late 1600s, barely a decade or two after the city’s founding. The two main versions either say that it was some ancient city that sank beneath the swamp and bogs before the arrival of the Europeans, or that it’s an inverse mirror of Gotham that’s formed from all our wickedness and corruption. No evidence of either version of such a city has ever been officially recorded. It’s usually assumed that people who wrote of such things, especially in the earlier centuries, had stumbled upon some of the vast cave networks that extend beneath the breadth of greater Gotham and their stories of giant chambers with rock formations that rivaled the tallest buildings in size were misinterpreted.]]

     So you know those whacked out monsters and aliens and weird-dicked demon things you have the Justice League out there beating the ass of every other week? They had all that shit way back in pre-history times too, but they didn’t have any cavemen in capes and spandex to punch them in the face. And they were everywhere. Big creepy monsters, fucked up demons that crawled out of the earth or shadows or fires and might not actually be from Hell, but acted like such murderous shits you could see how humanity got the idea of Hell in the first place. You had twisting shadows that would infect people’s own shadows and turn them into evil twisted things like them. You had monsters that only existed as silent whispers that’d get in a guy’s brain and tell them all sorts of shit till they honestly believed that wearing other people’s skin and dancing under the moon was a totally normal and not at all fucked up thing to do. You look back at the earliest stories humans ever wrote down and you can see they were remembering all sorts of fucked up shit we don’t got around anymore. Or at least, didn’t have around anymore until recently. [[4]] And it’s because of The Other Gotham.

[[4. Like with many aspects of Gotham’s unhoused youth culture’s mythic cycle, the timeline of this all doesn’t line up with actual history except in the vaguest of sense. It is interesting to note however that Princess Diana of Themyscira’s speech about ‘The Return of the Mythic’ (end note (i)) has somehow gotten incorporated here, and in a way that almost perfectly aligns with with current historical consensus.]]

     So, the way we figure it must’ve happened was like this: Just because they didn’t have superheroes back then, it doesn’t mean they didn’t have magic. Like, we don’t got a lot of it now, but you can’t argue it doesn’t exist, and pretty much everyone agrees that there used to be a lot more of it way back when, whenever that when was. And that when was here. This is the Way Back When. So a bunch of the smartest most powerful magicals [[sic]] got together to try and figure out a way to get humanity on more of an even standing against all these fucking monsters and evil spirit shits everywhere, and what they came up with was the idea for a great big fuck-off prison for the lot of them.

     So they went and found the one place on the planet that had the most Fucked Up energy possible - guess where - and set to work carving it out deep underground. At the bottom of the biggest cavern there was under the three islands and surrounding swamps, they dug out a pit. Not a giant wide pit, but a long deep one. As deep down as they could dig with whatever magic and tools they had back then. And down there at the bottom, they carved out a great chamber in the rock and covered it with all the runes and magic writing and iron and silver and whatever the fuck else you need to keep giant millipedes that eat souls in check. Then, somehow - and if anyone knows how, it sure as shit aint gonna be us - they managed to lure or suck in or capture just about every evil nasty messed up thing on the planet and locked them down in it.

     You can tell when this happened if you know enough history cuz it would’ve taken place right before humanity got its collective shit together and started doing things like building cities and writing stuff down and everything else that they count as ‘civilization’ these days. [[5]] But like I said, none of the cities everyone topside were building was the first. The first city was built right here, under our feet. They started out by carving out the insides of the biggest stalag-whatevers hanging down from the cavern roofs to live in while they did the original work. Then, once they figured out how that sort of thing worked, they started building their own towers, hanging down from above where they could keep an eye on their monster prison. All spires and guardian statues and skyways and at the center of it all, a giant hole drilled straight to the middle of the whole fucking planet.

[[5. ‘The Great Binding’ and it’s coinciding with the beginnings of known civilization (end note (ii)) is one of the newest theories out of the field of metahistory. Notably, UC Berkley’s article on the subject referenced in the end notes came out seven weeks after this interview took place. And as a side note to the footnote, even proponents of The Great Binding have no concrete theory on where such a prison might’ve been placed. A giant pit right on the Eastern Seaboard seems incredibly unlikely, however.]]

     So yeah, the Gotham Below. Sure, it wasn’t being called Gotham way back then. Not sure they even would’ve given the place a name to begin with. If you’ve never had a city before, would you even think it was something that needed a name? Anyways, Gotham Below. And they didn’t have shit to burn down there, but they did have magic. So, as the story goes, they kept the place lit with magic instead of fire. And all that rock remained as white and untouched by soot and ash as they day it’d gotten carved out. So Gotham Below, the White City. And even with all their magic, those people still eventually got old and died, so it was their kids left watching over the great pit prison. Then they grew old and died, and it was their grandkids left watching. And so it went for centuries and centuries and centuries, for however long it took for humanity to start building cities, then for Europeans to develop to the point where the felt like being assholes, and then for them to decide to go fuck up the rest of the world, and then landing on these same islands and decide that this abandoned remote hellhole was the perfect place to build a brand new city cuz there weren’t enough of those yet or whatever.

     Now, this should be obvious, but you can’t keep a thousand million monsters and demons and evil alien ghosts all trapped in one spot and not have shit kinda bleed out over time. When those pilgrims showed up to start building shit here, shit got weird. Now, I haven’t read any of this myself, but the kid who told me all this did, and according to him, if you go back and read through the journals and writings of those guys responsible for building up Gotham originally, you can see that they were fucked in the head. They kept writing about dreams they’d be having, silent streets of gleaming white they’d walk through while they slept and how the visions of great towering spires and skyways and a billion fucking gargoyles filled their pages whenever they tried to draw up designs. [[6]] So that’s what they all wound up making, one bridge and building and road at a time. A perfect mirror of the City Below, but reaching up in the sky instead of down into the earth. Each stalagamitite tower hanging down in one had a tower reaching up in the other. And smack in the middle of original Old Gotham stood the tallest building of all, right over where the pit was drilled far far below. [[7]] The Clocktower aint the tallest building in Gotham anymore, but it used to be. And while the Gotham Below remained pure and gleaming white, up here they hadn’t even finished putting up the first medieval porta-potties before shit was stained with soot and ash and coal smoke and whale oil residue.

[[6. Harris overstates things, but the base assertion is correct here. The writings of Cyrus Pinkney are infamous for their frequent reference to ‘dark and shadowy dreams’ (end note (iii)) and his open acknowledgment of how much those dreams influenced his designs. Not to the extent described here, though.]]

[[7. The Great Gotham Tower. Known better these days as The Gotham Clocktower or just The Clocktower. It was placed at the center of Gotham as it existed in it’s original state, with the rest of Old Gotham laid out around it in expanding circles connected by thoroughfares at each of the eight cardinal directions.]]

     And that’s how we got to where we are: With the White City, Gotham Below, and the Black City, Gotham Above.

Now, you can’t go building an entire fucking city without the downstairs neighbors hearing the noise and poking their heads out to see what it’s all about. This is another case where you can find references across all that early writing stuff they keep in the libraries. People started seeing ghosts. I mean, they were calling them ghosts, but they really obvious weren’t. People up high, watching people below. They’d wear big white robes that looked like wings when they moved. They wore strange masks with big smoke-glass eyes. They moved through shadows like they were part of them, they could climb a building as easy as walking, and anyone who tried to climb up to one would either find them gone, or would next be seen falling off the tallest building in the neighborhood.

     As the history goes, the masks they wore looked vaguely birdlike. A specific type of bird. But it quickly became obvious that whoever these people were, they really didn’t like it when people called them… that specific bird species. So we don’t. Adults still do sometimes, but that’s because they’re fucking idiots. [[8]] If you need to talk about them, call them the White Birds. Or, even better- They’re vain, these White Birds. If you flatter them, they’re less likely to decide to kill you for talking about them at all. The term that tends to get used a lot these days is Exquisite. [[9]] Not sure who came up with it, but we’ve barely had any kids go missing since we started. Still, it’s best to wait until the middle of the day, and talk about them someplace out in the open where you can be sure no one’s lurking in any shadows.

[[8. Beware the eyes of owls

Who watch us all the time

From lofty perches up on high

To the deepest pits of grime.

They watch us as we work and play

They watch us in our bed

Speak not a whispered word of them

Least talons strike you dead.]]

[[9. “Exquisite” is recorded as being Gotham street-kid slang for ‘untrustworthy john/rich person/official’ in the early 1980s (end note (iv)). An article in The Gotham Gazette from 1954 quotes a homeless kid as saying “We all always knew you couldn’t trust him. He was a full Exquisite Bird type through’n’through. None of us is surprised they found all those bodies up’n’in his place.” (end note (v)), and a stylized EXQU was used as hobo code for a place that seemed nice but must be avoided at all costs along the mid-Atlantic coast during the 1930s. (end note (vi)).]]

     So throughout all of Gotham’s history, they’re just… there. Watching from up high in the shadows, the Exquisite Birds. If you see one, no you didn’t. If someone asks you about them, you don’t know what they’re talking about. They don’t like it when people admit they see them, and they’re as quick to slice open witnesses as any other two-bit gang.

     So that’s where shit stood for a few centuries. Then something happened. We really don’t know what, and no one who would is the sort who’d tell us, either. We just know what resulted. Grownups call it the Cataclysm, or the Big One. [[10]] One day, the earth just turned over in a giant earthquake, split open, and half of Gotham fell down. Then, suddenly, there were monsters. Monsters everywhere. Gotham had always been shit, but now you had people dressing up like insects and murdering people with giant roach traps, or gangsters turning from murdering assholes to mass-murdering assholes who’d torture you for five hours then pull out your eyeballs for their collection, or giant piles of toxic mud coming to life and eating people.

[[10. It goes without saying, but at this point, Harris’ version of events deviates radically from the known timeline. The first recorded footage of Batman was taken eight years before the Great Gotham Quake, with the first rumors of his existence being almost twelve years earlier. This condensing down of timelines and assuming all events from more than five years ago took place at around the same time is a known phenomenon with children-created mythic cycles. (end note (vii))]]

     It was chaos. Everything broke down, no one knew what was going on. The rest of the country looked at what was happening in Gotham and flipped out and shut it all down. They blew up the bridges, put mines in the rivers and blockaded the entire city to try and contain whatever the hell this all was. [[11]]

[[11. No Man’s Land did take place, but if it was because elements of the US government were concerned about an outbreak of mythical monsters in the city, that fact remains undocumented.]]

     Now, like I said, we don’t know how everything kicked off, but we know how it ended. Somehow, whether on accident or on purpose, someone broke open the prison buried deep under out feet. Not all the way; none of the truly giant world-ending shit has gotten out. But all those twisted shadows and invisible whispers and nasty spirt ghost fuckers? They slid out just fine. We don’t know if the earthquake cracked it, or if the cracking of it caused the earthquake. We don’t know if the Exquisite Birds did it on purpose, or why if they did. We don’t know if they didn’t stop it because they didn’t care, or they just couldn’t.

     End result, though? Chaos in Gotham and monsters killing and corrupting and twisting everyone they could get their semi-visible claws into. And the Exquisite Birds just sitting there up high, watching and doing jack shit about it.

     These days, we know what to do when shit like that goes down. We know how to feed wishes to the gargoyles and how to call out for the Bats and the Robins, but people back then, they didn’t know any of that. Hell, there wasn’t anything to pray to or to collect those wishes yet. So you had a whole city of people hoping and praying for something to come save them, and nothing for all that power and energy to ground itself in. And there was a whole lotta power in the air. That ancient magic prison had just busted open after all, so along with all the evil smoke demons and monsters and shit, you also had all that raw protective magic leaking out at the same time. And it got mixed up with all those unanswered wishes and pleads as it coiled up through the spires of a city that was the mirror of its own. And there, at the top of everything, it all found it’s lightning rod and grounded itself and WHAM! Just like that, everything changed.

     Now, I’ve seen the old photographs, from back when you got pictures of city skylines from giant blimps and stuff. And the resolution on them is never great, but you can see it all the same. Back when The Clocktower was the tallest building in the city, it had a big fuck-off gargoyle on top of it. Big swept back wings and these curved back horns, and hunched all over looking out towards the ocean for anything that might be sailing in to do harm.

     It’s not there anymore. Supposedly, it fell off during the Cataclysm, but I’ve never heard of no reports of it getting dug outta the rubble. [[12]] We know what really happened to it, though. All those wards on the monster prison had failed, all the watching guardians of Gotham Below had failed, and Gotham Above was filled with unanswered prayers. It all came together at the highest point of Old Gotham, and the Bat Man statue sitting there was imbued with both the power and the motive to protect us. All of us. Bam! Batman!

[[12. The Sentinel of Gotham was an actual statue that stood on top of Gotham Tower for over 150 years. It was an angel-winged figure standing ten feet tall with a sword at its side and a shield held facing out to the bay. It fell off the top of the Clocktower in 1967 along with a significant portion of the north-western corner. The damage would remain until the revitalization of Gotham at the end of No Man’s Land. What happened to the statue is unknown. It was recovered for restoration and assumed display in one of Gotham’s museums, but I can find no further word about it after 1968.]]

     I mean, we all know about the next parts, yeah? Lots of punching, lots of asskicking. Big giant monster with glowing eyes descending from above to kick the teeth in of anyone who’d given in to the whispering shadows, to the monsters wearing human skin, to the demons and their shadows and all the rest. And it was awesome.

     But the kids at the time, the kids like us, they had it rougher. I mean, the way it’s like today isn’t like it was back then. Batman’s been alive for a lot longer now; he’s had time to learn how to be a person and not just some sort of monster-fighting gargoyle. But you can still see it. He talks like most of his throat’s still rock, and he moves like it too. He’s got a punch that sends people through walls, and bullets only make him bleed when he remembers they should and they never keep him down for long. And he still doesn’t really get what it means to be a person, or how to deal with humans. Like, you can tell he tries, but he’s an ancient protective guardian powered by even more ancient vengeance magic and there’s only so much that can do. To the kids of those early days, he was even worse. He didn’t understand that they’d be hungry or lost or alone. He didn’t understand why something like him would be terrifying, and he didn’t get why sometimes you had to steal to eat and survive.

     So some of the smart kids of back then got together and worked out a plan. There was still a lot of that protection magic in the air from the prison getting busted wide open and they got the idea to try and channel it all, but on purpose this time.

((The wishes!!))

     Right, the wishes. This is when that started. They spread the word. When you needed something, when you’d lost something, when you needed someone to help, you would write down your wish and what and who you needed to fix it, and you’d feed it to a gargoyle. Wish by wish, paper scrap by paper scrap, we taught the gargoyles what sort of protector the city’s children needed. There were attempts to get kids to feed them all to one specific gargoyle or another, but it didn’t really work out, everyone just wound up stuffing them into whatever gargoyle they liked best, or was easiest to reach, or was safe to get to. Turns out, you don’t need to feed the wishes to any specific gargoyle, they all talk to each other. What you wish to one gets picked up by all the others. [[13]]

[[13. This tradition appears to have started a year or two after Robin first premiered. It’s unclear exactly how it originated, but it’s now city-wide knowledge, especially among the kids, that you can feed wishes to gargoyles if you want them to come true. Previous writers have compared this to wishing on a star and have suggested that it’s how Gotham’s youth have adjusted for the fact you can rarely see any stars to wish upon in the city. (end note (viii, ix)). ‘Wishes for Gargoyles’/’Wishing on a Gargoyle/Gargoyle Wishes’ is often used by older Gothamites – particularly parents, teachers, and other caregivers – to refer to young foolish wishes, but with a positive connotation (similar to the phrase ‘puppy love’ meaning young foolish love, but with a positive connotation). (end note (x)). And despite what some city officials have worried, there’s never been a need to invest in going around and clearing years of paper pulp out of gargoyles across the city. What exactly is happening to the wishes instead is unknown.]]

     And it worked, is the thing! It barely took a year before there was a second shape following behind the Bat at night. And it wasn’t like the Bat at all. It wasn’t a soot and ash-stained version of the Exquisite Birds, carved out of stone and one with the shadows. It was small, and bright, with the colors of Christmas, Halloween, and the circus all in one. He laughed and told jokes and understood the difference between kids who were crying because they were scared, or tired, or lost, or had just too much happen to them too soon. He knew how to talk to kids and how to help us. He stood between kids who just needed money to eat and the Bat Man’s strict ethics. We’d done it, we’d made a protector of our own. Warmer, more real, more human.

     Kind a little too human, it turns out. Robins aren’t eternal like the Bat is. Robins grow up and grow old. Robins can die. Turns out, Robins aren’t made by a gargoyle coming to life like the Bat Man did. It’s more like, the gargoyles sort of push out the essence of all those stored wishes into a form that’s shaped after themselves, but made of our wishes and hopes and needs instead of just stone and rock. We don’t even know exactly which statues most of them came from.

     We know the Second Robin’s gargoyle. But we’re Crime Alley kids, so of course we know. He went back to it whenever he needed to rest and heal. There are kids who still climb up there to tend to it and feed it offerings. We’re never gonna get Our Robin back, but it doesn’t feel right to let his gargoyle sit abandoned. And there are some kids who think, or hope, that if we can feed it enough wishes and offerings and positive vibes, maybe someday Crime Alley’s Robin will be able to reform to protect us again.

     Until that happens, though, we keep feeding wishes to all the others. The first Robin evolved into Nightwing and became the protector guardian of Bludhaven. Kids who were smarter than me figure it’s because that protective magic is still leaking out of the broken prison and spreading out like a fog. It’s spread far enough out that it can feed them the next city over. Which means they also have those invisible whispers and corruptive shadows and all the rest, which, if you’ve ever talked to a kid from there, you know they absolutely do.

     The Uptown Robin dyed himself Red and moved in closer to us here in the Alley. Personally, I figure it’s because he’s been getting all those wishes and offerings we’ve been giving to Second Robin’s gargoyle. It’s sort of merging the two of them a little. Hell, if it wasn’t for that Red Hood guy showing up, he probably would’ve become the Crime Alley guardian fully by now. I always kinda wondered if the Uptown kids have a gargoyle they keep up like we do ours, they just don’t tell anyone about it. I mean, we scarcely do. We sure as hell don’t tell anyone who doesn’t need to know where it is, that’s for damn sure. [[14]]

[[14. I only asked after the second Robin’s gargoyle’s location once. When I told that information wasn’t shared, I didn’t peruse it any further. All the extra glaring here was just really unnecessary.]]

     Oh shit, good question, yeah, no, the Bat Girls totally come from the same place. Why some go by one and others go by the other is beyond me. There’ve been girl Robins, and it wouldn’t surprise me if there’ve been guy Batgirls. I think it’s because Gotham’s kids feed so many wishes into the system? There’s a lot of need out here, and so Gotham keeps birthing out new protectors for us. For awhile, I thought it was just a case of there were usually two ‘new’ ones at any given time, so one would get called Robin and the other would get called Bat Girl, but then we had two Bat Girls for awhile, and then Red Robin went back to being Robin while the other Robin was also Robin, but then they kept changing names, and…

     Look, I’m sure there are kids out there who have a better grasp on this stuff than I do. I just know where they come from, not what sort of weird rooftop pack/hive dynamics they got going on these days, you know?

     So, couple of other points before we close this all up. First, on the nature of wishes. I know it’s real cathar- ceth-. Fuck. Real good feeling to wish death by a thousand cuts on those fuckers who beat you up and stole all your food, or wish that the dad who beat you has his arms chopped off and whatever, but we’re all, all of us kids, city-wide, we’re really pushing that everyone cut down on the violence level of the wishes. The latest Robin we got came out with a sword. He’s straight up merc’ed a few guys too, and it didn’t work out as well as it feels like it should. We don’t want the next one to be even worse. Robin is supposed to be our protector, not our vengeance.

     If you want someone to wind up stabbed, you learn how to use a knife and take care of that shit yourself.

     We’re pretty sure the one extra invisible Bat Girl was formed out of the Bat’s shadow. She doesn’t talk much because they have to share the same voice, and she’s usually happy to let him use it, but this way the Bat’s able to properly Bat at two different places in the city at once. So she’s like the born wish of a born wish. It’s no wonder she’s so slippery and invisible half the time. Unless she’s actively punching something, she barely physically exists at all.

     And no, no one’s exactly sure what’s up with Signal. I mean, yeah, obviously he was formed out of the Bat Signal. Skin’s the same color as the metal, outfit’s the same color as the light, and he actually shines and glows and all the rest. And he says he’s The Signal. This is like obvious base level shit.

     We just don’t know who’s wishes he was born from. I mean, it’s possible that somehow the Bat Signal’s gotten tied into the gargoyle network, but that seems kinda implausible to me. Some have said maybe he was born out of the wishes of the police for Batman to show up and help out during the day for fucking once, but he’s way less violent and murdery than you’d expect from something born out of cop wishes.

     Buddy of mine who’s pretty damn smart and is usually better at these things than me thinks Signal might’ve been born from the police commissioner’s wishes specifically. Which kinda makes sense. He’s like the one cop who actually gets upset when someone gets shot twenty times in the back for no reason, and he’s always the one turning on the Bat-Signal and talking to the Bat under it for years and years and years.

     Kid I knew a year back actually managed to ask Signal who’s wishes he was born out of, but Signal just laughed and said something along the lines of “Doesn’t really matter who wished for me. What matters is they wished for everyone to be safe, so that’s what we’re here to do.” Then he blasted apart these giant shadow-bat things with bat-light beams and it was awesome.

     So yeah. That’s where Batman and the Robins and the Bat Girls and all the rest came from, and why they do what they do. Give thanks to Poshkid for the food, remember to put out your fires before you sleep, and if anyone wants to talk about the EBs, track me down tomorrow and we’ll go hang out in Leeds’ Park around noon so we can be sure nothing’s listening in.

[lazeecomet]

Manly Man things that your Old Man may not have told you (because he just though you knew)

Things in life are not suppose to suck. We, collectively as a society, have gotten really good at addressing specific things in life that suck and making them suck less. This is a bunch of Man Centric issues that i just though was an sucky part about being A Man that actually have solutions.

Facail hair is a lottery. it can come in fully by 15 or 25. My brother had a full beard by 16 the same year i was struggling to grow much of anything past peach fuzz at 19. now he has to shave his neck every other day while i can get away without shaving at all for 3-4 days and only end up with a 5'oclock shadow of a goatee. while on the subject.....

Growing a beard/mustache is not suppose to be physically uncomfortable. if you find that you cant stand having facial hair that goes past setting 3 or 4 on a trimmer because its just Uncomfortable all the time, you need to start using a Beard Oil of some kind. Its basically conditioner for your beard. its easy to try, just apply it once a day, and its less then 10$ for a bottle that will last quite a while

If your chafing your balls all the time you should consider changing your underwear. And i dont mean like change it once a day. I expect that from you. please. i mean the STYLE of underwear. there is 3 main styles of mens underwear that you'll find at Target and Walmart. Briefs, Boxers, and Boxer Briefs. see image below. Briefs are your classic tighty whities and they can chafe because of where the leg-hole seam is. Consider switching to boxers of boxer briefs. Boxers are your classic Hearts underwear you find when people get panted in movies. they are very loose so everything will be rattling around down there. lots of room to breathe but not great support. Boxer briefs are the middle ground. they provide the much of the same sack support that briefs do but move the leg hole (and leg hole seam) down the thigh. try out a different set for a few weeks and see if you notice a difference. i switched from briefs to boxer briefs and i have not looked back

speaking of your balls, dont fucking listen to manscaped. if you do want to try it out, dont fall for their marketing and go for a close clean shave. have you ever shaved your face clean and then a day later rubbed your chin to feel the stubble. that stuff is kinda scratchy and coarse aint it? a fun texture to stroke with your hand but you wouldnt want to do it all day? well....now imagine that same feeling but its your dick. You also get the added bonus of More Sweat! body hair is very good at wicking sweat away from the skin and with it all cut off, your putting a lot of faith in the wicking properties of your underwear. This is why Manscapes whole business pitch is about looks instead of how it feels to have a nice clean shave. the target audience for people who want to experience sandpapering their own dicks against their body is small and already cornered by the Home Depot

you can cover the automatic flush sensor on a public toilet with a piece of toilet paper so it doesnt flush on you when your sitting on it. remove the TP and throw it in to trigger a flush. no surprise splashes

dont send unsolicited dick pics. unless they ask, nobody wants to see that. and even when they do ask. dont. the internet never forgets.

Im sure there is more but its very late at night and my thoughts are muddled